Here are some genuine comments taken from letters sent to the council:-
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1:-I want some repairs done to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
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2:- It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
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3:- I wish to complain that my father broke his ankle when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
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4:- Their eighteen year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5:- The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
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6:- My bush is really overgrown round the front, and my back passage has fungus growing in it