ChatterBank1 min ago
A Couple Of Seasonal Ones
A Cornishman and his ever nagging wife were on holidays in Jerusalem when his wife suddenly died.
The undertaker tells him "Sir it will cost you £5000 to fly her body home or £50 to bury her here."
The Cornishman says "Fly her body home."
The undertaker says "But sir you don't understand for £50 you can bury her in the Holy Land."
The Cornishman replies "Listen here mate: many many years ago a fella named Jesus was buried here and he rose from the dead after 3 day's so fly her f***ing body home..!
And this:
A policeman on his horse says to a little girl on her bike "Did Santa bring you that?" "Yes" she replied
"Well tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year" he says and he fines her £5.
The little girl looks up at the policeman and says "Nice horse. Did Santa bring you that too?"
The policeman chuckles and says "He sure did!"
"Well" says the little girl "Next year tell Santa the dick goes under the horse not on top of it!"
The undertaker tells him "Sir it will cost you £5000 to fly her body home or £50 to bury her here."
The Cornishman says "Fly her body home."
The undertaker says "But sir you don't understand for £50 you can bury her in the Holy Land."
The Cornishman replies "Listen here mate: many many years ago a fella named Jesus was buried here and he rose from the dead after 3 day's so fly her f***ing body home..!
And this:
A policeman on his horse says to a little girl on her bike "Did Santa bring you that?" "Yes" she replied
"Well tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year" he says and he fines her £5.
The little girl looks up at the policeman and says "Nice horse. Did Santa bring you that too?"
The policeman chuckles and says "He sure did!"
"Well" says the little girl "Next year tell Santa the dick goes under the horse not on top of it!"
Answers
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Love the second one! The horse usually the brains of the team though the policeman keeps his brains in close contact with it.
21:14 Thu 19th Dec 2013
1 to 4 of 4
