Jokes

[clivebeca]

Did you know that International Rugby Referee Nigel Owens - probably the Best, but then I'm biased, is also a vg Standup [Comic]. Here are a few of his:
Couple of Jokes, translated from the Welsh of Nigel Owens - International Rugby Referee.

Two old friends were on holiday in Blackpool, and whilst walking on the Prom; a huge Seagull dropped his load right on Harry's head, and it ran all down his front.

Oh no said his friend Dai, "I'll go and get some toilet paper from the nearby toilet".

Don't be so stupid said Harry, "By the time you get back, she'll be miles away".

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After Harry and Dai were caught fishing in the river of the local Squire, they were questioned by the local Bobby.

Didn't you see the sign on the river bank, it said Private.

Yes said Dai, "but I was too polite to read anymore!!!

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Dai was standing under a lamp-post, on his way home after a couple of pints, trying to put a key into the centre of the post. The local Bobby happened to be passing, and said "I don't think there's anyone home"

"Oh yes there is" answered Dai "'Cos there's a light on upstairs".
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A lot of English gentry retire to the wilds of Wales for a better life and to make a reasonable living.
One such was Colonel Thomson, just retired from the Army. He bought a pub on the outskirts of Lampeter, but wasn't doing very well.

One night the only customer was Dai bach [little Dai], and the Colonel said to him " Do you know Dai, since I'm not doing very well here I think I'll turn the Pub into a Brothel instead"

"Oh dear" said Dai "If you can't sell beer here, how the Hell do you think you can make a living by selling Broth".
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[England V France today ??]