ChatterBank1 min ago
Not Getting Any
19 Answers
There's this young couple, let's call them gness and tony, they've been married for about a year, and the bride isn't getting any sex. Just about every night tony comes home, has a shower, gets changed and goes down to the pub. She's getting increasingly rampant as the days go on, but each night she is disappointed.
Tony comes home every night completely hammered and unfit for sexual activity. One particular night when tony gets in from work, gness is seated provocatively on the sofa, wearing the skimpiest dress she has, suspenders, stockings, and very sexy lace knickers and bra.
As is always the case, tony comes home runs upstairs, gets ready and goes to the pub. Once again gness is rejected, so she sits back with a bottle of wine to console herself. Then at 11pm (well before normal) she hears tony coming up the driveway and opening the front door.
Gness re-adopts her provocative pose on the sofa and to her surprise, tony's first words are, "Right woman, get upstairs - into the bedroom."
"YES!" she says under her breath as she runs upstairs, "This is the night, I'm gonna get some!"
When gness reaches the bedroom, she removes her outer garments and sits on the edge of the bed in her black lace knickers - ready for tony, as he stomps up the stairs. As tony pushes the bedroom door open he says, "Right, now get your clothes off!"
Gness doesn't need telling twice, it's off with everything. "Now get over in front of the mirror..",
"Kinky!" she thinks. "Great!"
"and do a handstand..."
"Oh god, I've been waiting for this for ages," thinks gness...
Tony walks over to gness, parts her legs and places his chin in her crutch...
... "Perhaps the guys at the bar were right, a beard would suit me!"
Tony comes home every night completely hammered and unfit for sexual activity. One particular night when tony gets in from work, gness is seated provocatively on the sofa, wearing the skimpiest dress she has, suspenders, stockings, and very sexy lace knickers and bra.
As is always the case, tony comes home runs upstairs, gets ready and goes to the pub. Once again gness is rejected, so she sits back with a bottle of wine to console herself. Then at 11pm (well before normal) she hears tony coming up the driveway and opening the front door.
Gness re-adopts her provocative pose on the sofa and to her surprise, tony's first words are, "Right woman, get upstairs - into the bedroom."
"YES!" she says under her breath as she runs upstairs, "This is the night, I'm gonna get some!"
When gness reaches the bedroom, she removes her outer garments and sits on the edge of the bed in her black lace knickers - ready for tony, as he stomps up the stairs. As tony pushes the bedroom door open he says, "Right, now get your clothes off!"
Gness doesn't need telling twice, it's off with everything. "Now get over in front of the mirror..",
"Kinky!" she thinks. "Great!"
"and do a handstand..."
"Oh god, I've been waiting for this for ages," thinks gness...
Tony walks over to gness, parts her legs and places his chin in her crutch...
... "Perhaps the guys at the bar were right, a beard would suit me!"
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