A respectable lady on a bus in England overhears an Italian man talking to his friend:
Emma cum a-first, then I cum. Then two asses a-cum-a together. Then I cum a-once-a-more. Two asses a-cum a-together again. I cum again and pee a-twice. Then I cum a-one-last time-a.
The lady is outraged and shouts:
You foul-mouthed sex-obsessed pig. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public, you're disgusting!
The Italian says:
Hey, a-cool-a down-a, Signora, I'm-a juss a-telling my friend how to spell-a Mississippi....