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International Joke Day
Morning all,
Today is International Joke Day and in the spirit of fun here are a few chucklers from the king of one liners Tim Vine:
Exit signs? They're on the way out!
Black Beauty? Now there's a dark horse!
Velcro? What a rip-off!
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said you just can't let it go can you?
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes (this year's Lafta winner)
So I said to a Scottsman 'did you have terrible spots as a kid?' He said 'ac ne'
Do you ever get that when you're half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, 'I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'
Enjoy!
Today is International Joke Day and in the spirit of fun here are a few chucklers from the king of one liners Tim Vine:
Exit signs? They're on the way out!
Black Beauty? Now there's a dark horse!
Velcro? What a rip-off!
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said you just can't let it go can you?
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes (this year's Lafta winner)
So I said to a Scottsman 'did you have terrible spots as a kid?' He said 'ac ne'
Do you ever get that when you're half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, 'I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'
Enjoy!
Answers
So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"
10:44 Tue 01st Jul 2014
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Dad there's a man at the door with a bald head. Tell him I've got one. When people take their little ones to the Baby changing room, what happens to the ones that are left behind ? In the old days ice cream vendors had a sign that read stop me & buy one. Nowadays chemists who sell condoms have a sign that says buy me &stop one.