True Excerpts

[jennyjoan]

This could have gone into Jokes but they aren't - they are excerpts from letters written from tenants to Housing Executive.

Will type just a few - hope you get some fun from them.

The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand

I am writing on behalf of my sink which is running away from the wall

Our lavatory is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

I need some repairs done to the heater as it backfired and burnt my *** off

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Would you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

Can you send someone out to repair my spout. I am an old aged pensioner and need it straight away.

I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.

Please send someone round because I need felt in my roofspace.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

JjCon

[jennyjoan]

^^^^ burnt my *** off

[2sp_]

Nobody wants to see an unsightly and dangerous erection...

[gness]

You speak for yourself, 2sp....☺

[tonyav]

She has my permission, jj ;-)

[pixie373]

Lol. Love those!

[excelsior-1]

they're very good

i have a list somewhere, that included some of them - i shall try to find it

[anneasquith]

excellent , :)

[Buenchico]

Thanks, JjCon.

I've posted this link several times before but it still seems appropriate here:
http://businessballs.com/insuranceclaims.htm

. . . as is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppQJcj6iUKc

[grasscarp]

My daughter in legal profession had a letter saying we feel we have been backed into a coroner over this.