It's A Cracker Of A Joke 2014

[Dizmo]

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold!

What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something.

What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on a head. I'll hang around for a while.

Where do fortune tellers dance?
At a crystal ball.

[mallyh]

lol.....what did one snowman say to another snowman? ........can you smell carrot

[scorpiojo]

What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep and crisp and even

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara?
Lost

On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside

[BlackadderV]

Why did the policeman climb the tree?

He wanted to be in the Special Branch.

[Dizmo]

Blackadder: that one got me right there (randomly points to body parts).

[janbee]

Ho ho ho... it's that time of year again. Jokes and Sprout after effects ... yes, ho ho ho,

[Baldric]

Out for a walk one day I thought I'd found a Snowman's Graveyard,
Turned out to be a field of Carrots!

[magicmick]

Mother Christmas was looking out of the Window, and Father Christmas said is it snowing? She said no it is just a little Rein Deer.

[marval]

Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?
He only comes once a year.

[DTCwordfan]

Q: What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
A: Starfish.

Q: Why don´t Penguins like rock music?
A: They only like sole.

Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale


On a really hot day, a penguin takes his car to a mechanic.

The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes."

So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream.

Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?"

The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin says, "No, no, no. I was just eating ice cream."

[FrogNog]

what doe Santa do when he's poorly?
He goes to the National Elf Service

[marval]

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

[DTCwordfan]

What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?
Gifted.

What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

What did Harry's godfather say when Harry wouldn't stop poking him?
"Stop that now. I'm Sirius."