Christmas Joke

[Georgiesmum]

What is orange and goes down chimneys at Christmas?
Fanta claus!

[Jomlett]

Advent Calendars are getting harder to buy.

Their days are numbered.

[marval]

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

[cupid04]

Father Christmas goes to the doctors because he has a mince pie up his bum!

The doctor says:- 'I have some cream for that.'

[tonyav]

Is it that squirty cream though, cupes.

[cupid04]

Wouldn't you like to know ;-)

[cupid04]

LOL! ^^

[DTCwordfan]

Doctor, Doctor, over Christmas, I got a snooker ball lodged up my rectum.

Well, you better had get to the end of the queue then.

[tonyav]

He should have potted Yellow and not Brown then, DT.

[DTCwordfan]

May be he went in-off, tony?

[marval]

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

[tonyav]

I like that, maval. It sleighed me.

[DaisyNonna]

Deer me!

[DTCwordfan]

Oh Deer....

[marval]

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house!

[DaisyNonna]

Are we crossing antlers DT?

[DTCwordfan]

Rudolph the blue tongued reindeer
Had a very nasty cough
So ABers put him in a face mask
Wouldn't let him take it off.

All the men from elf'n'safety
Said he couldn't go to town
If he tried to leave the Kettering farmyard
They would have to put him down.


Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
Rudolph your blue tongue's so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh?

Though Santa had to wear a Kia seatbelt
Rudolph couldn't pull the sled
They drafted in a team of huskies
And shot poor Rudolph in the head.

Ho, ho, ho!

[tonyav]

I heard he got slated for that.

[DTCwordfan]

Won't ask if Daisy is feeling h...y

Had a good Christmas?

[marval]

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve.

He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"

"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."

"Well, can you give me a toe?"

[DaisyNonna]

Why rain, dear, on my parade?