Do We Genuinely Have Soul Mates And If Its Meant For You Can It Pass You By?

[peason77]

If anyone has read my posts you'll see my love life has never been good. In fact after some deep soul searching I do believe I’ve only been in love, genuine love when i was 21, however i was dumped because my boyfriend at the time wanted time with his pals. In hindsight it was the right thing to happen. 4 years ago he got back in contact with me and asked if we could meet (he lives 80miles away)he said he'd never met any woman who matched up to me, hence he'd never married or had kids and lived on his own. I was in the wrong mental place at the time to agree to a relationship with him,-we then went our separate ways again, but every now and again we texted each other to say hi. I went on to do my nurse training, earn a degree whilst being a single mum. At Christmas last year a quick message turned into confessions of us never being as happy with anyone as we were together. However he was trapped in an unhappy relationship now (he's not a player or sweetalker, quite the opposite, so i had no reason to doubt him). We agreed to meet again 15 years after separating, it was GREAT! and both of us were desperate see each other again, we did, and again it was great! we both talked and laughed like we had only seen each other yesterday (nothing happened on our meetings because of respecting his gf of 2.5yrs). Subsequently he ended it with her and he said the break up was hugely amicable. So we both believed we were going to get the happy ever after, marriage and kids we'd both dreamt of-UNTIL HIS EX, text him a couple of days later because she wasn't coping and asking him if there was someone else- he replied he had feelings for me- WELL she went ballistic! screaming at him. He understandably felt bad. We went out for a meal a further time but things had changed and I knew i had to let him go, in order to see if he'd come back. My last contact was 29/1. I’ve not heard anything from him. not even a happy birthday (totally out of character). I suspect he may have gone back to his gf because he was upset that she said she wouldn't let him see her little girl again (not his but he loves her-he was a father figure to her). My life has now taken a turn for the worst (not just because of him), but i live in the hope he'll contact me. He lives miles away so we would never bump into each other, but i truly believe he's my one true love. Should i stop hoping fate will intervene and contact him? or do i just let go? or give it more time?Im not getting any younger (im 38) and i dont want to miss out possibly on a chance with another man? but I’m frightened of leading another man on if my first love ever does come back. My mum always said- what's meant for you love, will never pass you by. Who believes this?

[RATTER15]

No! however we do meet people that we bond to in many ways, if that is what you mean by "Soul Mate" then yes. And yes, sometimes they do pass us by!

[woofgang]

I do believe that some of us are lucky enough to have a soul mate and to meet them BUT I also believe that the way this is demonstrated is by how things turn out with no effort on your part. What i am trying to say is let go, get on with your life, if you are meant to be with this person then fate will bring you together. Stop living in hope and waiting, you may be wrong about who is "meant" for you and your true soul mate is still out there.

[peason77]

thats very true woofgang. Perhaps i've been looking from the wrong perspective. Thank you kindly.

[Sqad]

A man can love more than one woman at the same time and this seems to be the case with him. Clearly he has had to work out if his love for you is worth the "hassle" that he is getting from his ex...........and he has decided that it isn't.

A woman is less pragmatic, she has difficulty in getting her love out of her life and hoping that he will return....he won't.
You must now put him on the back burner (not out of your life) and get on with your life in an effort to meet another partner.

[ummmm]

I believe you become soul mates.

[ladyalex]

I don't believe in fate.
I think if you want something you have to go for it.
Working out what you actually want is the had bit, though.

I also agree with Ummmm....if a relationship works out well, you become soul mates.

[ladyalex]

^^ hard bit ^^

Sorry, dratted ipad again....

[peason77]

thank you sqad. This site is a wonderful resource when people answer in a kind, but truthful manner. Your insight helps me. Thank you