Ten Golf Terms - - -

excelsior-1 | 15:32 Sun 05th Apr 2015 | Jokes

6 Answers

- - - that could be a bit dodgy

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

A Tramp - - -

A Blind Chap - - -

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EDDIE51

Time to post this again
http://bl.net/forwards/bedgolf.html

Ellipsis

You could improve your performance with a stiffer shaft ...

EDDIE51

A lady is playing golf when she is stung by a wasp. She goes back to the club house to find a first aider. But the only person there is the club 'Pro'
He asks her '' where were you stung?'' She replies ''between the 1st and 2nd hole'' . '' Well '' replies the pro '' you're stance is too wide''

DTCwordfan

One that came from Alba via e-mail, courtesy of David Feherty...(I howled with laughter at this)

"I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife."

jno

Bedroom golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed
bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players’ equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner’s permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner’s request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.