Old Jonas
The minister was not happy with the constant disturbances he was having during his sermons so he decided to call on old Jonas to help him.
The next Sunday morning he gave Jonas a bowl of cough sweets which he was to give to every member who was coughing.
Every time a member coughed Jonas gave them a cough sweet and then the member left the hall. At the end of the service half of the members were gone.
After the service the minister calls old Jonas and asked him what he said to the members that made them leave the hall.
Old Jonas says, all that I said was "For cough!"