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marval | 16:29 Thu 30th Apr 2015 | Jokes
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I think my keyboard needs therapy.
Some of the keys have been depressed lately.

Today it was raining cats and dogs.
I stepped in a poodle.

I'm setting up a strip club in Devon, offering Cream Tease.

I think I just saw Damon Albarn on a motorbike.
Not sure, it was a bit of a blur.

Had a fight with a Pole at work today....
The other lad had a stick.

I had a look at a new ribcage yesterday, but decided against it.
My heart just wasn't in it.

I was walking home the other day when a middle eastern market popped up at the side of the road.
I thought, "how bazaar."

I've just bought some new jogging trainers, they should prove a good purchase in the long run

I have an irrational fear of common German names,
I'm extremely Klaustrophobic

I was reading a comic and the last page was just a blank piece of paper with a crayon.
Now I think it was intentional, but I don't want to draw any conclusions
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i saw a man streaking in an elevator the other day

it was wrong on so many levels
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Got into a fight with a sea creature who I thought was my friend.
Turns out he was anemone.

I went into Sainsbury's and asked, "Do you sell spinal vertebrae?"
The guy said, "They're in the back."

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