Remember When I Told You

[phleb]

about problems at home. I have finally left after the final straw, where he drove me to despair. I am now staying with my family, my children are feeling sad they had to leave their home. I told him to leave, but her refused. I had to go. I could not take any more of this mental abuse. I was feeling like i was going mad. That it was all my fault. Maybe i did something to trigger all this, i cannot see that i have. I tried my best, but after all these years, i could not handle any more taunts, put downs about my looks and weight, bullying, shouting, demands and orders. Financial struggles; i got into debt because i had no financial support so relied on credit cards.

I am at another bad place now, where i have 3 children and no home, no job, no money. I can cope with that, at least i am not being called an ugly dog and feeling sad and letting myself go. From a confident independent working woman, to one that cried to sleep, looked drained, both emotional and physically and felt alone.

Those of you who read my previous posts will understand, and be glad i have taken this step. I appreciate you all cared and thus gave me advice. thank you.

I do not know what the next step is, maybe try and find my own place to rent, get on the council list. I do not know where to start, so some more advice will be embraced xx.

[Baldric]

No advice, but Good Luck to you!

[Svejk]

Sounds like things can only get better.

[tonyav]

Well done, phleb. I remember your past posts, you have done the right thing if I were you I'd get on the council list first thing.

[Mamyalynne]

Phleb you have proved just how strong you are,you have got out. It won't be easy but this is the biggest step - get all the help and advice you can and act on it.

One day you will smile again and feel good about yourself ,take care.

[DaisyNonna]

You have take the hardest step.
Good Luck.

[tonyav]

phleb, might be worth a visit to citizens advice as they may be able to put you on the right path regarding housing for you and the kids.

[marval]

Well done for leaving phleb, get as much help as you can, good luck.

[pusskin]

Good luck phleb, I wish you a much happier future, and this is only the start of making yourself feel free añd more appreciated. Things can only get better. keep your chin up and look forward to happier days ahead. X

[ladybirder]

Well done phleb. As advised, go to CAB for a start. He needs to start contributing towards the upkeep of his children for the first time in his life but again, CAB will advise you. So pleased you've taken the first step. Well done you. x

[sherrardk]

Good for you Phleb. I know you feel rubbish but well done for being so strong and leaving. Your kids will admire you for this in the future. Take some time, re-group and you'll soon get things sorted, x

[Pete65]

I wish you all the very best of luck in the future, Phleb.
Onward and upward!

[anneasquith]

you have family support , ? take a few days to rest you and your children are now safe, I would suggest you contact womens aid. abuse does not have to be physical. they are good at giving advice, good luck.

[Dee Sa]

things can only get better for you and your children from now on, you have taken a big step forward you should be proud of yourself, well done you and good luck.

[askyourgran]

Good for you phleb, never look back, you have done the right thing. That first move is the worst, now you must stay strong for your children and be positive about what you want for the future. Approach the council about housing and assistance. I hope your family are able to help you for a while. Good luck.x

[Cloverjo]

First contact the council to see if they can help with housing. However, I think it might be hard to get a council house. Look for somewhere to rent privately. Go to the benefits office to see what you can claim regarding housing benefit etc. If I remember your previous posts correctly, I think you are not working and you have a young baby. You should be able to claim other benefits to support you while you get back on your feet. Good luck and well done for making that move.

[waterboatman]

Well done phleb. Nobody should be treated that way. As already advised, your first stop should be the council. Tell them your story, they will be sympathetic and do all they can to help you. There is a lot they can do. Then go to CAB, they will also be very sympathetic and can help a lot with many things. You have no need to feel embarrassed, they have heard similar stories many times and are very good at helping.

I wish you and your children all the very best. You deserve it. xxx

[murraymints]

Phleb darling..whilst I am sad that you feel low right now I am glad you have taken that big jump to freedom, you know it was never going to get any better and things can now start to improve for both you and the children. you need to lick your wounds for a bit and make plans. short term and long plans. I would first contact an agency like woman's aid who have vast experience in these matters, they can help with finding you accommodation and also help with matters like claiming benefits and getting you any counselling / medical attention that you and the children may need. when you are domestically settled then seek help from the job centre and agencies for employment, but one step at a time

It will be very difficult at first and he will probably try and convince you that he will change etc, when you are at a vulnerable low, but do not give in, the worst is over now. The children may also put pressure on you to go back but they do not understand the reasons you left for and in the long term they will look back and be pleased that you did go.

so..it is big breaths , stay grounded and with help from family, friends and the above agency your life WILL get better....

you deserve so much more..you deserve a life and happiness..and it WILL find you darling..stay strong for yourself mainly, and the children, but mainly yourself, children are resillient and will accept the situation in a while.

Come here when you feel low and as if your head is going to burst, for there will be such times..we are all here to listen to you, for we ALL have been through bad times too..I have certainly been in a dark place where I could see no future in similar circumstances..but..I got through it, as you will...

I send you many hugs and will be thinking of you at this difficult time.. stay focused stay strong..be happy ..xxx...

[ummmm]

Well done Phleb.

Like others have said go to the council first thing Monday morning and declare yourself homeless.

I know where I live the council will put you in a B&B until they can find you a house. It's not ideal but my friend was only in a B&B for 8 weeks before she was offered a 3 bed house. Keep strong x

[cazzz1975]

Good Luck and please remain strong, it takes a lot of guts to walk away when your self esteem has been trodden down.

Kids pick up on negativity in the home, its depressing as a child to live in a warring household, even more depressing when you see your mother crying or feeling hopeless, it cant be hidden and it will cloud their lives so to move to a place, any place that doesn't have a melancholy atmosphere lingering is an absolute joy.

[ferlew]

Best wishes to you Phleb, took a lot of guts to make that move.