I Got An Unwanted Surprise Gift, Should I Have Handled It Differently?

[Rebelgirl]

A month ago my fiancee took me to Hot Topic and said I could get anything I wanted and he'll buy it for me. I was excited about it but I told him I wanted him to surprise me with something he picked out (he''s never surprised me with anything besides my ring). He said alright and followed me around as I was looking around. I was purposely staying away from the clothes because I was about 4 months pregnant and didn't want to buy clothes I wasn't ginger to be able to wearfor awhile and he new that so I was mainly looking at the purses, wallets, and jewelry (mostly earings and ear wraps). I kept hinting at the ear wraps because I aways wanted one. I wander around for about 5 minutes and notice he's ready to leave with a bag in hand. Once we left the store he handed me the bag and I pulled out my gift, a t-shirt (size medium) with one of my favorite artists on it. I liked that it was my favorite artist but not that it was clothing. I don't own any tshirts besides my work shirts because I hate how the coller is so close to my neck it feels like I'm being choked and I've told him multiple times why I don't like them. I tried to show that I was happy but I guess he saw I didn't like it. He asks what wrong and I say nothing I like it. He knows something's up and insists I tell him but I continue to its nothing let's just go. So we get to the trunk and he asks again what wrong and if I like it or not (he's starting to get mad) I cave and say I didn't want the shirt or any clothing for that matter and thats its not going to fit. Then we start fighting about how we'll just go back and exchange it for something I do want and I tell him no I'll keep it and I try it on (fits fine but still feels like I'm being choked.) He's still mad and says we'll take it back but he's not going to try to surprise me again. I tell him no i'll keep it and we head home. I feel horrible about not liking it and when we get home he's still mad, we sit down and discuss the issue about the shirt. He asks why I don't like it and I tell him I like that it's my favorite artist but I didn't want anything clothing wise and that I was tying to hint at the ear wraps instead. In the end we took it back the next day and a week later he took me back to let me pick out the ear wrap I wanted. I still feel bad about it and not sure how to handle it.

[ummmm]

It's a t-shirt. Not worth falling out over. Go buy your own ear wraps (whatever they are).

[fiction-factory]

If you stay together you'll have much bigger issues to think about such as where to buy a house, what to spend on furniture/decorating etc. This one should blow over if the relationship is strong

[MallyJ]

You told him to surprise you..he did you responded ungraciously...I am sure that he will take the hint and not buy you anything more... anyway you are having a baby... you will be spending your money on other things shortly.

[murraymints]

don't be churlish , he asked what you wanted..you KNEW what you wanted and did not say !

[Cloverjo]

Just forget it, it was an argument over nothing.

[andy-hughes]

Given that he bought the wrong thing for you, hindsight will no doubt confirm that your compounded the problem by pretending to like it, when clearly you don't.

You probably feel worse because your hormones are exaggerating everything.

Confirm with him that this is over and done with, and move on.

[Bertrum]

This reminds me of rule 6
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* JUST SAY IT!
If you want to be surprised don't expect it to be a pleasure
I have been married for over 40 years and can count on one hand how many times she has been happily surprised at what I bought and to be honest it works the other was as well

[murraymints]

there speaks the word of wisdom ! ^^ lol

[Mamyalynne]

Just let it go, it happened it's over.

When baby arrives you'll wear the first thing you grab when you get up - good luck.x

[murraymints]

you will be grateful for a clean T shirt soon..lol..tip...towel over shoulder to catch baby puke !!

[Cloverjo]

Yes, definitely, MM. I'd almost forgotten that bit of the joys of having a baby. :)

[Prudie]

Gosh what a very long post about something so minor. Don't ever ask for a surprise if there's a chance you won't like what you get. I bet he also wished you just came out and said what you wnted - lots of people hate the pressure of buying a surprise present.

[Bazile]

//I was purposely staying away from the clothes because I was about 4 months pregnant and didn't want to buy clothes I wasn't ginger to be able to wearfor awhile and he....//

huh ?

oh right - ''going to be able ....''

[ladyalex]

Please, can somebody tell me what ear wraps are?
My mind is boggling here.

[murraymints]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=ear+wrap&tag=mh0a9-21&index=jewelry&hvadid=3170064470&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_2yiz1xzdxg_e

[ladyalex]

Thanks, MM

Not to my taste, but each to his own.

[murraymints]

bit OTT for me too

[rsvp]

How can you not be grateful that your chap offered to buy you what you wanted -you didn't give him any help (and for heavens sake surely you know men type humans don't have a clue when it comes to hint dropping) -be bally thankful you have someone who wants to please you once in a while instead of carping on how hard done by you are. Buy your own ear whatnots if they are more important.

[Bathsheba2]

I like them! Never heard of them before. Don't think I'll get any yet, they might not show when I'm wearing my turban ;)

Baths
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