4 Year Od Niece Rough With My Toddler

[Kathdoug76]

My niece rough plays with my toddler who is 2. I keep telling her not to pick her up as my little one doesnt like it, but she just ignores me. There have been times when my little one has nearly banged her head on thw floor or on a table.
The other day i asled her to leave my toddler alone as she was picking her up again and almost banged my little ones head. She ignored me again so i yelled at her and she started to cry. My sister is now upset at me saying i overreacted but i dont want my toddler being put in danger.
I apologied profusely to my niece and tried explaining why i told her off, but she was just crying. My sister should explain to her that she shouldn't pick other children up as it can be dangerous. I think my sister is now upset with me.

[pixie374]

I expect she is. Show the 4 year old how to be gentle, she is young herself. Yelling at her is not fair- or giving her the best example.

[Old_Geezer]

Yet your sister be unreasonably upset. She should control the behaviour of her offspring. A slapped wrist the second time it happened would have most likely stopped it. Might even work on your sister.

[Islay]

Don't blame her no need to yell!
You should have taken your child off of her and explained why it is dangerous!
Having said that goodness you best invest in a lot of cotton wool because a 2 year old is going to bang its little head and body a lot over the next few year!!

[Old_Geezer]

LET !!!!!!

[ummmm]

I probably would have shouted as well.

Shouting is often just a reaction...it doesn't hurt anything but feelings. As long as you explain why after. Don't beat yourself up.

Fear stirs extreme emotions.

[Kathdoug76]

I feel terrible for yelling at her and i didnt mean to upset her. On reflection i should teach my niece how to be ge tle instead.

[ummmm]

Don't feel terrible. It's a human reaction. You didn't hit her, just raised your voice.

[Kathdoug76]

I am not sure my sister will see it that way. My niece and nephew who us 12 play rough, using wrestling moves, so that's all she knows, bless her.

[ummmm]

Your sister will get over it.

Are you in the US?

[Kathdoug76]

I hope she will...I am UK based

[Eleena]

Yes, a 4 year old is incapable of realising their actions, but your 2 year old needs protecting all the same. Your sister needs to back you up that her 4 year old can't play with her like that, I would have shouted by the way, you are her mother and her protector. So your sister is upset, tough. Be consistent in how you feel and what you want, if they can't 'support' you in protecting your child then they should stay away.

[murraymints]

I agree you have done nothing wrong, a few ground rules need to be agreed with sister and her kids regarding what is acceptable play...

[cassa333]

Explain to your sister that her children, as much as you love and adore them are not allowed to do some things. One of which is Pick your child up.

I suspect your sister is a little lax with hers. They are allowed to play rough and get away with being told off by crying. I work in an infant school and see it all the time. Snow flakes that can do what they like but wobetide anyone who questions the little terrors lol

TBH if the play rough all the time you will not be able to teach them to be gentle easily. But when they play together and they start to be rough take your daughter away and say each and every time, no she can't play with you at the mo ent u till you learn to play nicely. They will eventually learn that however rough they are at home they can't be when you are around.

[Eleena]

^ Spot on. Repetition, consistency, it will drum home in the end. As cassa said, your sisters child will take this behaviour in to the nursery if not challenged on it.

[Eleena]

Nursery/ infant ..