Victim Blaming And Fragile Women.

[sapelesam]

It was only a matter of time before someone stuck their head above the parapet, Anne Robinson, and asked why none of the victims of sexual harassment have delivered a quick slap or a mouthful of invective. As a mere male I have always been puzzled by the reaction of educated women in these situations. I know these men often have power over the victims, but I've seen this behaviour in the workplace shut down very rapidly by smart women. The perpetrator then scuttles off with his tail between his legs. Is there a female AB'er who can tell me why this situation is allowed to continue, or am I simplifying a complex situation.

[ummmm]

Often it isn't witnessed.

[albaqwerty]

imo, you are simplifying a complex situation.

If the young woman wasn't 'worldly-wise' she may be unable to slap the antagonist down for fear of causing a scene or damaging her career. (Who knows what goes on in the mind of people who are subject to unwanted behaviour?)

[sapelesam]

Does it need to be witnessed for a victim to stand up the perpetrator.

[-Talbot-]

People, men and women react differently to any given situation.
You could ask why some men allow themselves to be bullied whilst others will punch the bully square on the nose.

[sapelesam]

Thanks Alba, I'm trying to get a better handle on the situation. Is Anne Robinson totally out of line.

[ummmm]

Not always but it's handy if you want to be believed.

[jackthehat]

As I said on a separate thread, sometimes sheer incredulity can render you immobile for a moment or two. That's long enough for the 'assault' to pass and your moment to do anything about it has gone.

[Bazile]

I suspect that a lot of these women weren't in a position of power , ( or are never in so a position ) when the incidents occurred and were just starting out on their career and so felt that that it would be detrimental to speak out .

Make a 'fuss' and you'll find that your PDR all of a sudden mentions shortcomings that weren't there previously .

It however looks like things are changing and people are no longer prepared to suffer in silence

[sapelesam]

Yes Talbot, but it would appear that none of the victims have done much about it. On the law of averages, some should have.

[woofgang]

So many reasons.....the woman might be worried that she will lose her job...be branded a trouble maker...she might feel that she is the only one who dislikes the behaviour and therefore its somehow her fault...she might not be a quick thinker or that confident...she might be so shocked that she cannot respond.....its like many situations that most people experience in their lives when they don't think of what they should have said or done until afterwards.
Its the same as being mugged or otherwise attacked...you hear people say "oh if that happened to me, I would do such and such" You honestly do not know how you would behave in such situations until you are in it...or how upsetting it would be.

[-Talbot-]

and asked why none of the victims of sexual harassment have delivered a quick slap or a mouthful of invective.


That doesn't really make much sense. There will be thousands of women who have given a mouthful or slapped a sexual predator.

[sapelesam]

I suppose these perpetrators pick on the ones they perceive to be the most vunerable.

[andy-hughes]

saplesam - In my opinion you are indeed simplifying a complex situation.

It is easy for anyone with the strength of character to deal with this behaviour to wonder why everyone else does not do the same.

The fact is, we are all different, and those without a voice, or the means to defend themselves need our help and support.

I have not read what Ms. Robinson has said, but from her media profile, I am willing to imagine that it something along the lines of "In my day you gave a man a slap and told him to grow up ..." which is fine, if you are like Ms. Robinson, a woman with a reputation for being strong and able to defend herself.

Sadly, a lot of other women, and indeed men, are not that lucky, and expecting everyone to act the way we do in a situation is not only lacking empathy and support, it fosters a climate where people behave badly because they think that, not being told they are wrong is the same as being told they are right.

[sapelesam]

OK Talbot, then why are we not hearing from these women regarding Weinstein or in Parliament. Surely they should be contributing to the conversation.

[woofgang]

sapelesam, we don't know that nobody did anything, we just know that nobody has said that they did......additionally bullies of any description are very skilled at choosing their victims. I suspect that any woman who would have seen him off in short order would not have been attacked because he knew what would happen.
When I was a teenager, I had a poster on my wall (still got it somewhere) that said "Lo though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, yet will I fear no evil. For I am the meanest son of a bich in the valley"

[hereIam]

I totally agree with woof at 16:43.

[sapelesam]

Thanks for the contribution andy-hughes, as I said earlier, I'm trying to get a better understanding of this situation.

[naomi24]

I once slapped the wrong man.

[Mamyalynne]

Rather late to the thread, so I have to repeat others - too many variable, what situation,what position does the person have above you etc etc.

You tend not to hear much of the cases resolved by a slap or put down because the women think it's dealt with and men aren't exactly going to tell are they?

[Mamyalynne]

But you have better aim with a pie Naomi ;-)