My Nan

[marval]

My Nan asked me to take her shopping today. I was always brought up to respect your elders, so I grabbed her trolley and legged it.

I have just come home and found my mum slumped on the couch with needles in her arms. She always falls asleep when she knits.

My grandma won big at the bingo last night. Weird prize, but one of Tom Hanks better movie roles if you ask me.

A new stairlift was unveiled today, it can get you up the stairs so fast that when you get to the top you can still remember what you wanted to go upstairs for.

I walked out on my job at the council this morning. I don’t mind a bit of gardening, I can even manage some litter picking, but road marking, that’s where I draw the line.

I was checking my junk emails earlier when I came across one offering me free angling equipment. All they wanted was a few personal details. I hate fishing scams.

The doctor gave me a jab the other day. Got him back with an uppercut.

My son has just said, “Dad, I have just invented a designer farm animal.” I said, “Son, I’m Prada Ewe.”

My computer lets me save up to a dozen videos of musical concerts. It has a 12 gig memory

Police are looking for a thief with honey, walnuts & filo pastry smeared on his face. The victim said he was wearing a baklava.

[Voltage]

lol you need to write a joke book marval

[marval]

Thank you Volty, I will have to think about that.

[albaqwerty]

LOL

(am loving the stair-lift one, shurrup Volty xx !!)

[Patsy33]

I could do with one of those fast stairlifts Marval. I'm always going upstairs and asking myself why I've gone up there!