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marval | 18:57 Thu 22nd Mar 2018 | Jokes
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I have just been to a restaurant and I saw a sign on the door saying, ‘Look out for our new menu’. I walked in and it hit me in the face.

Some stupid fitness instructor has just told me I’m not doing the star jumps correctly. I nearly fell off my chair.

My computer froze the other day. That’s why I’ve just bought it some mittens and a woolly hat.

Where do sheep get their mobiles from? Phones for ewe.

I want to get a spiral staircase from B&Q but I am not sure how I am going to smuggle it out. I think I’ll take it one step at a time.

I just took a pound into Poundstretchers I came out with a Pooouuund

I joined the National Trust last week. Now I believe everyone I meet.

I’ve launched a website tracing and returning user’s lost trousers. It’s called Jeans Reunited.

What do call an Irish Bullfighter? Matt O’Door

The pride of Britain awards are coming up. My money’s on the white lions at the West Midlands Safari Park.
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Lol!!
lol all good uns

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