My Partner
My partner and I had a play fight this morning. He threw hamlet but my Tempest really knocked him for six.
My granddad got kicked out of his bowls club He said plates are better.
As I left my house this morning, I was bombarded with a white, powdery condiment, and was quite seriously harmed. I thought, ‘Surely this is some form of a salt?’
I have been trying to establish my Mum’s secret fajita recipe but it’s proving very difficult. It’s being kept under wraps.
I am getting bored sitting around all day watching UK gold. I thought being a guard at the Bank of England would be more exciting.
Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lit match. They want to catch him before he strikes again.
I have just written a play about someone who drives into a theatre. It’s going to be a box office smash.
I have just bought a flat that overlooks a frozen food factory. I’ve got a birds eye view of it.
My friend received an email yesterday asking him to send trouser zips to the address provided. I told him to ignore it, it sounds like they are fly phishing.
I went to see a Jewish magician last night. He pulled a Rabbi out of a hat.