I Was

[marval]

I was waiting in line for a club last night and the guy at the door was checking IDs. He was taking ages.

The bank wants to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven’t kept up my mortgage payments but I am convinced it is just a mix-up from when I moved branches.

My partner said he is leaving me because apparently I have a fetish for electrical surges. I was shocked when I heard this.

I have managed to give up smoking cold turkey. I find it is better to cook and eat it.

My football team played a team from Saturn today. We ran rings round them.

I Thought I would get a nice framed picture of the twins for my wife’s birthday. Turns out she doesn’t share my admiration for the Krays.

I walked into a corner shop, all they sold was yoghurt.

I was trying to watch a video on how to clean a floor yesterday. It was a complete disaster, all I got was buffering.

I was on a cruise ship which had both sides labelled as starboard. Something was not right.

I got a job in a crisp factory and made a packet.

[Arksided]

Lol, very good

I was a Navy seal officer who loved magic, I got disillusioned by the Sirens.

[Patsy33]

Fancy not wanting a picture of Ronnie & Reggie! Lol!!

[Hopkirk]

My idea of a picture of the twins is far more exciting.

[Shaglene]

Spot on jokes..........