I Don't Know Where To Start - Background Is On Here Somewhere.

[jourdain2]

Life has burst apart, courtesy of Son-in-Law, who was discovered, in July, to be sleeping with Ladies of Easy Virtue. 2 children - boy (9) and girl (7). On its own this is bad enough - and some of you will have seen my earlier post about grandson being admitted to psychiatric unit after attacking his mum.
Going from bad to worse. Divorce now likely to be bitterly fought out in the courts and all my savings for my old age will have to go to pay for it. No-one could look after the kids on Friday - he was away, she had to work. I abandoned Mr J2 Thurs. and baby sat. Taught boy his 12x table and girl to sight read music (middle to upper C - she's very musical).
Sat. a.m. Daughter obsessively doing maths GCSE papers (needs to train as a teacher). Screams emanate from playroom where granddaughter was practising the tunes I'd taught. I went to find grandson kicking hells bells out of little girl (curled up defensively on the floor)and shouting 'I'll F...ing kill you'.
Needless to say, I took prompt action. He fled to his bedroom. I pinned him down in there - stripped his stickers from his door and left him there for a few hours for parents to deal with.

Daughter is seeking excuses (!) in that boy has been bullied at school. I'm treading a fine line here and frightened to death for my gentle, musical granddaughter. I don't expect anyone can solve this, but any comments will be helpful. Grandson is now thoroughly scared of me if that helps. It's horrible.

[ummmm]

Going by your posts on here you seem to favour your g'daughter very much. Maybe it's very obvious to him and he's taking it out on his sister. Add that to the fact that their parents have not long split!

[bednobs]

sorry you are all going thru this. did he have a diagosis after all (i seem to remember something about steroids?)
What is "stripped his stickers from his door"?

[Jackdaw33]

Why should it cost a penny of your money? I think you're becoming somewhat neurotic.

[tonyav]

Grandson is now thoroughly scared of me if that helps.

That's most probably a good thing right now judging how his behavior is right now, jourdain.
Sounds like this separation / divorce is really having an affect on him.

[jourdain2]

Ummm - she was on the floor being kicked viciously by him. I don't particularly favour her, she has her faults, but he has always had bullying tendencies and is now, according to school, the class bully. Whose side would you be on? Horrible atmosphere in that parents are still living in the same house.

bedknobs - he had a lot of horribly violent cartoon figures on his bedroom door - I binned them.

[jourdain2]

jackdaw - daughter has no cash. Solicitors cost a lot of money. I'm paying the bills. Not neurosis. I've already disbursed over £1K.

[bednobs]

blimey what a tangled situation.
i wonder if it might be best to leave it to the parents to sort as it (should be) their job

[Prudie]

Jourdain I'm sorry for what you are going through. Have you thought about seeing someone from Citizen's advice or even the Samaritans. I fear that the nature of this site and your previous posts about how you deal with your grandson will invite negative feedback and not be that helpful.

[jourdain2]

Thanks Prudie and bedknobs.

[bednobs]

have to agree with prudie there!
I wonder if forcing the daughter and son in law to sort it themselves might get them going a bit?

[jno]

has he been bullied at school? Or is he the class bully? What are the school doing about either of these?

[anneasquith]

Whilst you were " dealing" with your grandson where was the mother ?

[jourdain2]

Thanks again, bedknobs. The parents just aren't 'framing'. I've seen problems with this particular boy for years, from toddlerhood - there's just something about him. I corrected him about something (Werewolves don't really exist) and he screamed at me not to tell him he was wrong - spends all his time in fantasy-land. I can't back out and leave daughter to cope on her own - she isn't coping now.

[pastafreak]

You absolutely should NOT be bankrupting yourself to help your daughter get a divorce. There is plenty of help out there that she can make use of. She can start with Citizens Advice.
It's their marriage that has gone down the tubes...let them sort it. Help her in other ways, but don't mess up YOUR future.

[chrissa1]

Surely she has grounds for a quick divorce due to his sleeping with another woman/women.
My son is going through the same thing with my *** of a daughter in law. He found out she was sleeping around on drunken nights out without him. He left and is going to get divorced. I 5
thinkk it costs about £500.

Your daughter should get custody of the children, I would have thought.

[tonyav]

It will cost a lot more than £500 if it goes through the courts though, chrissa.

[chrissa1]

Yes. But, why should it? He’s in the wrong. Or is he denying everything.
.

[chrissa1]

https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/help-and-advice/the-divorce-process

[tonyav]

Divorce now likely to be bitterly fought out in the courts and all my savings for my old age will have to go to pay for it.

I know he's in the wrong, chrissa. But jourdain thinks it will go to court.

[chrissa1]

I don’t know the background, Jourdain, but surely your son in law would have no grounds to fight for his marriage. He lost that right when he slept with Ladies of Easy Virtue.
I understand that there might be a fight over assets etc and maintenance of the children but surely an agreement can be reached without going to court.