Grammar

[Patsy33]

A young man I met, sent me a text, saying , "I think your great" I replied, "No, I think you're great". He's in love with me now, and I don't have the heart to tell him, I was only correcting his grammar!...

[Canary42]

Mother just returned from overnight business trip, is greeted at home by husband, attractive young governess, and 5-year old daughter.

Daughter: Mummy, Me slept with Daddy last night
Governess, No dear, I slept with Daddy last night.

(From an old Donald McGill seaside postcard)

[Patsy33]

Lol!...

[JimF]

A: Myself and John were there.
B: You mean "John and I were there"!
A: You wasn't there, mate...

[marval]

lol

[JimF]

A: None of them were there.
B: You mean "None of them was there", 'none' being a contraction of 'not one' and therefore taking a singular verb.
A: Oh, why don't you *** off! Seriously, just *** the *** right off! Nobody says that. I seriously doubt if anyone has ever says that!
B: You mean "I seriously doubt whether anyone has..."
A: *SMACK*

[jim360]

https://twitter.com/otherdanobrien/status/826813073809874944?lang=en

[Cloverjo]

JimF, did you watch Alan Partridge tonight? ;)

[Ellipsis]

> A young man I met, sent me a text, saying , "I think your great" I replied, "No, I think you're great". He's in love with me now, and I don't have the heart to tell him, I was only correcting his grammar!...

How did you know she wrote it for him?

[JimF]

"did you watch Alan Partridge tonight?"

No.

[Cloverjo]

I thought you might have nicked that from him, JimF. Very close, anyway :)