Xmas Cracker Competition, Entry Number 1

[Canary42]

Who is Santa's favourite singer


Elfis Prezzie

[emmie]

oh gawd..

[scorpiojo]

Who is Rudolph's favourite singer?

Beyon-sleigh

[Mamyalynne]

What is Father Christmas's favourite pizza?

One that is deep pan, crisp and even.

[scorpiojo]

What kind of music do elves like?

Wrap

[Patsy33]

What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker

[bookbinder]

Ohhh! They're all groanworthy!

[hereIam]

Canary, you seem a lot more tolerant since you changed your avatar - as johnny would say, am I right, I'm not wrong ..

[Mamyalynne]

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?


Because it soots him!

[Mamyalynne]

What do the elves call it when Père Noël claps his hands at the end of a play?


Santapplause!

[scorpiojo]

What's the most popular Christmas wine?

I hate sprouts.

[Patsy33]

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!

[DTCwordfan]

How does a Christmas Snowman make his house - He glues it together....

[DTCwordfan]

A Prince comes home from the Palace and his girlfriend is sitting on the front step with her packed bags.
"What you doing?" he asks her.
"I heard you were a sex-maniac," she answers.
"That's a big word for a 17 year old," he says.

[Mamyalynne]

Why did Santa go to the doctor?


Because of his bad "elf"!

[DTCwordfan]

What has 125 teeth and prevents a rampant Prince from escaping?
His zipper.

[Mamyalynne]

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

[DTCwordfan]

why was Nigel Farage's Christmas lunch so crap

because he banned brussels and the turkey was too much labour.

[DTCwordfan]

why was Nigel Farage banned from Santa's workshop

Because smoking can seriously damage his elf.

[marval]

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose.

[scorpiojo]

Who is a Christmas tree's favourite singer?

Spruce Springsteen