Are you lonesome tonight,
is your bra-strap too tight,
are your corsets just drifting apart,
have you got a big chest
making holes in your vest,
does your spare tyre reach out into the night,
are your stockings all laddered,
are you wearing them thin,
do you hold up your knickers
with a big safety pin,
are your false teeth all worn,
do they drop when you yawn,
well it’s no wonder that you’re lonesome tonight.