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retrocop | 23:23 Sat 02nd May 2020 | ChatterBank
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There are no half measures with Pam Ayres rhyming prose, but just maybe the content is relevant to the current situation.
>>
>> 
>>
>> I'm normally a social girl
>> I love to meet my mates
>> But lately with the virus here
>> We can't go out the gates.
>>
>> You see, we are the 'oldies' now
>> We need to stay inside
>> If they haven't seen us for a while
>> They'll think we've upped and died.
>>
>> They'll never know the things we did
>> Before we got this old
>> There wasn't any Facebook
>> So not everything was told.
>>
>> We may seem sweet old ladies
>> Who would never be uncouth
>> But we grew up in the 60s -
>> If you only knew the truth!
>>
>> There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll
>> The pill and miniskirts
>> We smoked, we drank, we partied
>> And were quite outrageous flirts.
>>
>> Then we settled down, got married
>> And turned into someone's mum,
>> Somebody's wife, then nana,
>> Who on earth did we become?
>>
>> We didn't mind the change of pace
>> Because our lives were full
>> But to bury us before we're dead
>> Is like a red rag to a bull!
>>
>> So here you find me stuck inside
>> For four weeks, maybe more
>> I finally found myself again
>> Then I had to close the door!
>>
>> It didn’t really bother me
>> I'd while away the hour
>> I'd bake for all the family
>> But I've got no flaming flour!
>>
>> Now Netflix is just wonderful
>> I like a gutsy thriller
>> I'm swooning over Idris
>> Or some random sexy killer.
>>
>> At least I've got a stash of booze
>> For when I'm being idle
>> There's wine and whiskey, even gin
>> If I'm feeling suicidal!
>>
>> So let's all drink to lockdown
>> To recovery and health
>> And hope this awful virus
>> Doesn't decimate our wealth.
>>
>> We'll all get through the crisis
>> And be back to join our mates
>> Just hoping I'm not far too wide
>> To fit through the flaming gates!
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I could read her work for hours, whatever the subject matter.
Also (and I do hope i'm not on my own, here) when reading her work, I am imagining her reading them to me in her accent.
Been on here a few times now, there's some doubt about the authorship but that aside it's very witty.
a lovely poem.

according to Pam Ayres twitter account, it's not her.
Allegedly it's by Jan Beaumont
https://startsat60.com/discover/opinion/bloggers/lets-all-drink-to-lockdown-a-hilarious-poem-by-an-over-60/amp?__twitter_impression=true

whichever, it's still a very good poem.
Whoever it is by, it very funny. I read it in Pam Ayres’s voice.
A brilliant poem which echos my sentiments 100%! Oh, except I actually found some flour in Lidl last week!

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