Excuses For Ambulance Chasers

[tourdeforce]

Hello Folks,

I am looking for some fun excuses that I can say to the scam ambulance chasers that phone me on a fairly regular basis.

The ones I have used in the past include:-
1. I was on the Titanic when it sank.
2. I was on a plane when it crashed ("oh dear, what happened?") I died.
3. I was driving a bus when I drove it off the edge of a cliff.

Looking forward to your answers in anticipation.

Best regards,
Mr DeForce

[SteveD]

Louise drove our car over a cliff

[Ken4155]

I was sat on the loo, minding my own business, when I got my head bitten off by a dinosaur.
I was a human cannonball and I got fired when there was no safety net.
I've just visited the local hospital and French-kissed all those Covid 19 positive patients.
I was helping to demolish a statue of a slave-ship owner and it crushed me to death.

[tourdeforce]

Thanks so far to Ken & Steve,

Please keep 'em coming if you know any more.

[puzzled54]

I made my grandson chuckle with the old Eric morecambe line - I’m sorry I don’t have a phone

[Peter Pedant]

// I was sat on the loo, minding my own business,//
hey what about - "and I forgot it was a zero gravity one. The one where your bottom is sucked darn de U bend if you press flush at the wrong time. which I did.

[Peter Pedant]

YOu know those church steeples? well I was replacing the point on one and the helicopter got it wrong.
Lucky it wasnt a cross really

[Peter Pedant]

I let my three year old drive but I didnt really tell the insurance company - especially as we were on the motorway

[Peter Pedant]

you know those bombs that went off in London today fifteen years ago?

well I am like that lady who only went mad ten years later on the tv - awful it was - the nightmares !

[198kHz]

Can you call back later - my granny has just crashed her wheelchair coming down the stairs again.

[webbo3]

[malagabob]

I’m calling about the recent car accident you had.
Oh yes, which one.
The recent one.
I’ve had two, which one we talking about.
The one where I was at fault, or when I was hit by the 70 year old.

[Peter Pedant]

Malagee - I did try that one
"the accident where I zeroed the 70 y old - what and the insurance co is whining about the pay off?"

they rang off pronto - prontissimo

[Peter Pedant]

my granny has crashed her wheelchair and it was only a little push !

I might well try that

[waterboatman]

I just lay the phone down, off the hook, they can't use that line again until I do, and they are paying for the call.

[rowanwitch]

No it wasn't an accident, I meant to kill him

[Cloverjo]

Webbo. I don’t believe a word of it, but it was funny :))

[webbo3]

I agree, funny but not sure if its real. ^

[bhg481]

Waterboatman - not true. The person making the call can break the call at any time and their line is available immediately. Try it.

[HansUrbancka]

Correct bhg481.

Hans.