(Csa Warning) Are Men Able To Control Themselves?

[Dvynr06]

Hello, I'm just going to start off with a disclaimer, this is not a joke or some attempt to troll this is a serious question I want answered, (preferably by males.) I am also not trying to mock or degrade any men, this is just a question. And I am NOT calling out for help. Do not try to tell me to go to the police because I can't.


Alright, I'm 15 and my dad is pedophile, he has made me have intercourse with him almost everyday for the past 3 to 4 years, I've told him to stop and even physically tried to stop him but he just turns violent on me and tells me he has to and he can't control himself. Whenever I cry or yell out and tell him 'no' he accuses me of having a victim complex and I honestly don't know if he's right or not. He compares himself to a 'vampire' and tells me he just can't control it, he says it's just in his blood and God made every man that way.
Even after all the things he's done to me I can't help but feel bad for him, what if he really can't control himself? Am I really just overreacting? He found out I was self harming because of it and told me I was and I think I am.

I just want to know if he's lying or if every man was really programmed this way. Thanks.

[davebro]

//Do not try to tell me to go to the police because I can't.//

You MUST. This is abusive & criminal. A very, very small percentage of men would even dream of this sort of extremely perverted behaviour.

[calmck]

If this is true you need to speak with someone, a teacher or counsellor at school. A human being should be able to control themselves unless they are very "sick". If this is true it could be like an addiction that is difficult to control without help. If this is true you owe it to yourself and any younger siblings to report this to someone

[Atheist]

Anybody else in your household? Are you American? Are you having fun asking UK sites your question?
If you are self-harming you would know. Do you physically harm yourself?
Either you or he may be under too much religious influence. Nobody can escape responsibility simply by saying 'I can't help it' or 'I'm a vampire.'
If you are genuine, then you need to seek help from somewhere other than here. Do you know any sane and decent adults who might understand your plight?

[Mamyalynne]

He's lying, all men are not made that way.

He knows it's wrong, you know it's wrong.

You simply have to get help or get away.

[naomi24]

If you can’t go to the police you need to tell one of your teachers at school - now!

[ummmm]

This is sad.

I'm from a very large family and none of my uncles have touched me sexually. It's wrong, so very wrong.

[roopower]

If this is true, and we get some on here that aren't, you must get help. Go to a teacher at school, they'll know where to go from there. This is not normal behaviour, the vast majority of men are able to control themselves in this way, thank God. Get help now!

[Mozz71]

Sorry kid, but your Dad is as far away from normal as you can get. You have to go to the police, if not for you, then for whatever poor innocent is going to come next, because there will be some one.

[NeedToKnowPlease]

This post is hysterical and I think the poster needs to sit down and really have a think about what on earth they have wrote.

If it's a lie they need to sort their life out and if it's true they need to imagine if their friend was in that position with their father and think of the advice they would give.

saying "I cant I just can't go to the police" is nonsense. That's exactly what you can do. Get some professional help for goodness sakes.

[Canary42]

No, the vast majority of men either don't have these urges with their kin (or any kids for that matter), or are able to control them.

Pedophiles do appear unable to control them however so IMHO should be permanently separated from the temptation. You owe it to your Dad (and yourself) to ensure this happens.

[Peter Pedant]

you have taken the first step of doing something - telling us
now you need to tell your teacher

[Dvynr06]

NeedToKnowPlease, I didn't mention it in the question because I sped through it but I cannot because of my families financial situation. My dad makes all of the money and my mom isn't even a mother and can't get a good enough job because shes simply not competent and smart enough to get one. She also knows and does not care. If you're not going to answer my question then scroll on. I also forgot to mention I don't want help, don't tell me to get help and even if I did it would just cause more suffering and pain. My family would most likely be homeless and his real kids would grow up without a dad and it would be all my fault, not to mention my dad is extremely violent towards me and obviously has anger issues I don't even know what he would do to me if he even found out I was writing this. Good day.

[NeedToKnowPlease]

OK well simple and blunt the answer to your question is no, of course not.

[Dvynr06]

And this question was 100% serious it wasn't a cry for help or just for pity points. I was genuinely curious because my dad actually preaches this stuff and has told me for years and even sat me down and lectured me. Clearly he's manipulated into thinking this and these answers have opened my eyes a bit. I'm homeschooled and I have no friends I have a few online but other than that I haven't talked to anyone my age in person in for years. Obviously im very disconnected from reality and I now realize that, I thank all of you for these answers. I haven't told anyone or have been able to vent about it and this has helped a little.

[davebro]

Effectively you are being blackmailed (consciously or unconsciously) by your abuser and whatever the consequences it must stop. You need to talk to a counsellor to change your state of mind and resolve the issue. If you won't go to the people who CAN help you there is absolutely no point in pursuing answers from the like of us on the internet.

[Mamyalynne]

If you refuse to do anything about it then at least I hope we have persuaded you that your Dad is very wrong and has been lying to you all along.

We can't do any more than that.

[anneasquith]

Hi, if this is not a question or wanting advice, may I ask the purpose of you posting this on a public forum ?

[NeedToKnowPlease]

If the poster knows they're disconnected from reality it might be wise to trust the judgement of those who have suggested to go to the police.

The police will be able to sort care and protection for the family whilst protecting society from the abuser / father.

If the mother is unable to work then depending on the country there may be benefits to help.

Just because your dad makes all the money it doesn't mean that without him your family is going to be broke and homeless. There is help and support available.

[anneasquith]

Ah, I now see it is a question. Do you think his behaviour may be normal .

[Mozz71]

So he's abusing you sexually, physically and with his gaslighting, mentally.

You deserve better. Also, his kids would be better off with no father. At least not with one like him. I stick with what I said before, you should do something before he finds a new victim. You have my empathy.