Things Said In Court

[Buenchico]

Following on from Khandro's court humour thread last night, I though that this (from the wonderful Bored Panda site) might make some people here smile ;-)

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-court-reports-disorder-in-court/

[davebro]

very funny

[Peter Pedant]

tray fonnay - - I was gonna put this in CB - but here will do
Judge asks "what are the Beatles?" again - todays times

the not very good Grauniad article is here
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/31/islamic-state-hostages-were-forced-to-fight-each-other-us-court-hears

Times today - since I have time and the alternative is reading more musings by the usual suspects on woke subjects like David Livingstone.

Motka ( a witness in the beatles trial current in New York, detailing relentlessly cruel treatment by El Shafee et al ) "They came in and started beating and kicking me. They said I was a posh winker because I went to a boarding school."

at this point the judge, Thomas Ellis 81, stopped the trial - "what is a winker?" he asked to laughter in court

Motka: it is a British idiom. Someone who is being a dick.

The Judge - someone who is what?

Motka - a bit of a dick

Judge - 'oh'.

Motka went on to describe what had triggered his first beating.....

[jno]

weary judge: "Mr Smith, I have listened to your argument in full but I must say I am none the wiser."

FE Smith [who seems to appear in most legal jokes]: "No, my lord, but a great deal better informed."

[fcc]

FE Smith:your honour i swear i'm not guiltyof stealing as god is my judge.
Weary Judge:He is'nt,i am,guilty,6 months

[Tilly2]

They made me smile. Thanks, Chris.