Here are my three entries - Have a lovely V-Day - to all the gals that is.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You’re sticky like Loctite,
And I’m glued to you.
Cherries are red,
Peas are green.
You’re the first AB Valentine
I’ve ever seen.
Aubergines are purple,
Lemons are yellow.
You’re soft and cuddly,
Like a Cornish marrow.
Any colour or flavour is fine,
If you’ll just be my AB Valentine.
Or
Roses are rusty red,
The flowers are flaccid and wilted.
You’re dry and floppy like an
Ab Editor,
It’s really no wonder you’ve been jilted.
Or
Valentine’s Day, the time to find the right AB girl for me
I thought how hard could it be?
I just have to find an AB gal a similar age to me
but of all the gals out there - just so many.
Hell of a poser - I don't know how to find the key,
so I decided to come up with a gaming strategy.
Note the things that I want her to be, the AB girl I could marry,
she must be a cutie and have the perfect body.
Pasta, Gness, Minty, Lady CG and J – all lovely and crazy.
Pasta - if I feel hungry I could eat her dishes – she’s a cook and handy.
Gness - if I’m down and alone, she’s sure to cook up something funny.
Lady CG – ‘what’s for dinner?’ and the bottle of vino… there go my kidneys.
Lady J – a stunning mug pressie that makes my AB coffee nice and tasty.
Minty – forget Queen Nicola, she’s really Scotland’s First Lady.
Then there’s Tilly, Horseshoes, Pixie, Albs and, bless her, even Naomi
Jourdain, Bobbi, RH, Barmy Barmaid, Barsel, Prudie and Dottie Lottie
and plenty more - some of whom, alas, have become a distant memory.
Whenever I try to say to them "Have some mercy,"
they say, "You’ll be barred for being too naughty and randy -
like the time with Pinkie on Mad Over 50s- tailcocks and volley-vonts,
Ed will have you on another week’s suspender,
so forget us - you may well just as surrender.”
Choosing the right Valentine’s AB lassie -
well, that’s simply an on-line dreamy choice and fantasy.