it's a cracker!

[crisgal]

did anyone pull a cracker containing a joke that was actually funny?

[andy-hughes]

I watched 'Christmas Ruined My Life' last night - including the five 'worst' cracker jokes ever, read by Bernard Manning. I thought numbers 1 and 2 were really funny -

Q. Who is the spirit of chat shows? A. The Phantom Of The Oprah.

Q. Where 's the best place to hold a party on a ship? A. Where the funnel be.

I laughed out loud at both of those, but it was late!

[lankeela]

Where I went to Christmas dinner instead of crackers the host had bought little novelty presents, like key rings with animals that poo'd if you squeezed them. I had a cow who poo'd little balls if you lifted its tail. There was a chicken that 'laid an egg' if you squeezed it - it was all yellow and runny and then disappeared back into the chicken. Quite disgusting but caused so much hilarity, especially after a few glasses of vino! Much better than tired old crackers with floppy paper hats and age old jokes.

[dippy_dumbo]

Can't say I had any funny ones unfortunately..

[scrumpy78]

What do you call a woman with a fish on her head?

Annette

ha ha

[SteveD]

The one that made us laugh most (perhaps alcohol-fuelled) was:

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Wendy.

Wendy who?

Wendy red, red robin comes bob, bob bobbing along.

(Tesco Family Crackers)

[Narolines]

Yes, but sadly I never saw her again..........