Mil Cancer Update

[Redhelen72]

Morning,

Just a week update MIL does not have cancer!! She had a meeting with a 'memory' nurse and gave permission for her to discuss her finding with us.  Turns out MIL also told her she had cancer so she checked her medical records and  whilst there was an irregular blood test some time ago all further tests and FIT test came back negative.

Now how do we deal with someone who is going round telling people and family that she has cancer and dementia and had neither!

[Smowball]

Do you have anything in writing to confirm that she does not have any of these things Red? 

[Redhelen72]

Yup - the nurse very kindly replied to an email himself sent!

we have told his brother and his response was 'oh well' - its like seriously is no one going to challenge her on this?

 

[Smowball]

Does she know that she doesn't have these but just forgets? 

[Redhelen72]

Her poor memory is apparently down to old age (85), medication (on about 30 different tablets a day) and depression!

no she mentioned the dementia again to himself last night - was adament that this nurse says she has dementia - Jim has her if she had read the letter and she said yes.

I think its the attention she gets from 'being ill'

[Smowball]

That's very likely tbh - the attention thing - well at 85 I'd probably let her get on with it lol. If she says it to anyone where it's likely causing a problem then you always have the letter.

[barry1010]

So she doesn't have dementia either?  What was her attitude when she was told the results?

[Redhelen72]

We told her that she did not have dementia and she is adamant that the dr says she did have it.

I think the confusion is that the dr is reacting to her stating she can't remember anything - so arranged for this memory specialist to come out to her - who in turn says its general old age, medication and depression.

She has another appointment in 6 weeks to see if the change in medication makes a difference.

To be honest I have kinda lost the will with her - the nurse asked if she has always had a tendency to 'have a nasty tongue' or was that new - we just said - she has always had it!!

[barry1010]

I think you lost the will with her a long time ago.  Don't blame you

[Peter Pedant]

Oh dear - but good news for her !

[andres]

I  think that anyone taking 30 pills a day would be likely to have some degree of  confusion. Does she manage her pills herself or is there someone to help her. 

[Moorea7]

Does MIL ever have a review of her medications?  I agree with Andres.

[Canary42]

She's a right curmudgeon, but also a very sad person.  Lucky to have such a nice daughter-in-law.  I'm afraid you will just have to continue to live with it.  And sound of about it here to let off steam.

[Canary42]

*off

[ferlew]

Pleased for you and OH that she doesn't have cancer.
Your MIL reminds me so much of my mother, she was always at the doctor's (after reading up on various conditions in the Readers Digest of Home Medicine) with one imagined ailment or another. She once came back from the GP absolutely fuming. When asked what the problem was, she replied "That bloody man won't let me have diabetes".
The book used to fall open at the ailment she was currently deciding she had.
 

[andres]

I remeber many years ago when doctors really knew their patients and had the time to explain what they were prescribing. My doctor would say ----'some pills you take with water and others with milk. Milk won't irritate the stomach because it will put a 'lining' in it. Don't take these different  pills together ,you should leave an interval between'. 

Years later  when I worked with Day Patients in a NHS hospital we would often get elderly  patients coming in , drowsy and confused , because they had been  taking their pills at the wrong times or taking a 'cocktail 'of pills.  

[Canary42]

Nice one ferlew - of course now we've got the internet, so Reader's Digest can take second place LOL.

[Redhelen72]

Andres @1338 - I contacted the pharmacy back in 2020 and got them to put them in a tray early morning, morning lunch dinner and night - or something like that.

She has had reviews and tbh some of them have been shocking - she was still on HRT at 78 and had to be weened off them! she had been on them for 30 years!!!

Lol Diabetes - her best mate about 10 years ago was diagnosed and needed injections - MIL was most disapointed that when she was diagnosed pre diabetic she only needed to watcher her diet - of course she didn't quite the opposite in fact I can remember being shocked at how much sweet stuff she ate.

Well of couse she needed medication but she had a complete paddy when she was given tablets and wanted injections like her mate!!

honestly over the years I have threatened to throw her overboard and drop her off at dignatas!!

I could almost accept her being nasty to me if it was dementia but now I know its just her!

 

[andres]

^^^Fair enough ,Redhelen . Looks like you'll just have to soldier on.