Kids say the funniest things

[goindoolally]

What gems have your kids come out with?


My son who's just gone 15 and has size 12 feet came out with a corker a couple of years ago. He was actually complaining about his feet being so big so I said "you know what they say about men with big feet" to which he replied "yeah, big socks"
Was lmao!

[spudqueen]

When my eldest son joined Beavers he came home one day saying that next week he was going to be invented. No love, I said, no-one could invent you!

[lou 26]

my 3 year old daughter said yesterday she had a lasheye in her eye. made me chuckle

[Bohne]

Not my own child, but I thought it was cute:

After stuck in a traffic jam for some time, this girl and her parents passed the site of an accident on the motorway.
Mostly the site had been cleared, but a police car was still standing on one of the lanes.
Then the five-year-old: No wonder we had a traffic jam, if the police must park in the middle of the road!

[Maggimae]

My 4 year old daughter was out with my mum one day, when they drove past a thatched cottage - "look nanny", said my daughter " a hairy house"!!

[SaxyJag]

A friend took her 5 year-old granddaughter to the cinema. Much to their annoyance (and several others), a lady behind them insited on giving her friend a loud, running commentary of the film. In the end the five year old turned round and said,

"Excuse me. Some of us are trying to listen to this you know!"

Silence from then on.

[dancealot13]

lol ;) funny stories

My sister was about 2 years old, and in a dressing room with my mother. Well my mom was trying a blouse on that had shoulder pads in it. One of the shoulder pads fell out of the blouse and onto the floor. My sister yelled "Mommy!! Your Booby fell off!!"

[kazzianne]

I was bursting for the loo when I was out with my 3 yr old son,so had no choice but to take him into the cubicle with me.Just as I pulled my knickers down he said,at the top of his voice "mummy,why do you have hair in your pants and I dont?" . !!!

[goindoolally]

great stories, made me giggle.

another I've just remembered reading in a magazine-

grandma driving, her granddaughter in the back of the car, little girl says "grandma you've got a bogey on your jacket" to which the old lady replies "no I haven't," the little girl responds with "yes you have, I've just put it there"

[chongalolo]

I work in a primary school. We loved this one..

Child who wears glasses came running in to the office shouting, "I've lost me len!"

Headteacher says: "You mean your lens"

"Nah," she says, "only one of 'em!"

[dancealot13]

AAHH lol these are great!! ;)

I read one in a book a while ago. A mother and father were getting ready for a wedding party and the father was putting his suit on. Their little girl was in the bedroom as well. Little girl says to her father "No daddy, don't wear that! You always get sick and have a headache the next day when you wear that."

[curiosity]

Sitting down to his poached eggs on toast yesterday, my 14 year old son said "isn't this illegal?"

[dancealot13]

lol;) ha ha thats a good one!!

[patiodors]

We were playing a car game of saying words in turn that started with certain letters. We got to the letter p and were saying the usual short sort of words - peas, popcorn, pen, pencil etc, when suddenly my six year old came out with 'penal servitude!' Of course we were gob-smacked and couldn't stop laughing. We found out that this was thanks to him listening to an audio book of the Railway Children where the father is sentenced to 'so many years penal servitude'

[curiosity]

I have another from my 5 year old who done Green Cross Code sessions last month at school. Telling us all about it, she said you need to Stop Look & Listen. Then she said "What if you can't see and you can't hear, how do you cross the road?" we replied "well you could ask someone to help you cross, or some people have a special dog that also helps". So she thought and said "Mmm, But, What if, You couldn't see, you couldn't hear, you couldn't talk ... and you were bald?"

[lady_p_gold]

On my son's first day at school he came home and I asked him what he had for lunch. He said you could have 'weeds in a roll' or 'meat in teabags'. I later on found out he meant cress in a roll and ravioli.

[Slooow_Jo]

lol these are brill


One day my son had peas in spaghetti sauce (baked beans)

[BlueHeaven]

In a packed supermarket at the checkout where a poor teenage girl with very severe acne was serving us, my daughter (then about 4) piped up in a loud voice "Mummy, why has she got so many spots?" Oh dear.

Another time in the same supermarket, after being told that babies come from eggs in the mummy's tummy, down the dairy aisle my daughter spotted the eggs and said "I used to be a egg!"

[lady_p_gold]

I was playing 'shops' with my son upstairs one day with pretend money and weighing out sweets etc. when the doorbell went. Teaching him to meet people and things I said "you go down and see who it is" So he went downstairs and opened the front door and it was a Jehova's witness and he said "Is your Mummy in ?" so my son duly replied "no Mummy is still upstairs with one of her customers" .... !!! Was my face red when I went down.