Correct Dining Etiquette?

[cliffsdvlwom]

Hi, when casually dining in a restaurant it is common to thank a waitress or server that takes used plates or brings a bottle of wine etc., in formal or official dining situatiopns is it still correct to acknowledge their service or do you politely let them go about their jobs unnoticed? Many thanks, Ann Edwards (Tasmania, Australia)

[n00dles]

Hi cliffsdvlwom

Never mind if its in the book of Etiquette or not. Always be polite thank the server for whatever they do for you, it makes them feel better - and after all they are doing you a service - it goes without saying. Obviously don't overdo it, but acknowledge them before they leave serving/clearing etc.

If there is one thing that P****s me off is peoples ignorance in such places, treating anyone that "serves" them subservantly!!

Besides, you'll feel better too!

n00dles xx

[SaxyJag]

Go with Noodles - say thanks. It doesn't cost anything.

Waiting tables can be a cr*p job, especially when they have to serve pompous twits who treat them like dirt on their shoes.

Jasper Carrott does this wonderful routine where he talks about a group of people taking the mick out of a chinese waiter. "Is it any wonder,then," he concludes, "that he goes into the kitchen and pees into the soup?"

I don't know how many waiters do do this, but it's as good a reason as any for treating them with a little respect.

[heathfield]

Etiquette erupted with industry, through the rise of the nouveau riche from the middle and lower classes. They were embarrassed at not knowing how to behave in the best of society, and so any number of books were written to tell them what to do. Much of it was pure invention. (In fact, the upper classes acted like pigs at the trough - they'd nothing to prove!) In those days it was the done thing to totally ignore the presence of a server unless it was instruct them of what you wanted - they were invisible, not part of the company, and 'thanks' didn't come into it.

In time, this changed gradually to the point where a gentleman might thank the server if they'd done a really good job, but a lady would certainly remain aloof. Dealing with a server was a man's job!

Today, we recognise the difference between 'service' and 'servitude', and hope that no-one has to suffer the latter. So nowadays, yes, thank the waiter or waitress if they've provided a good or proper service, (Especially in Australia, where everybody's equal, mate!)

[joko]

a simple thank you is courteous and acknowledges what they are doing for you.

[Plocket]

I agree wholeheartedly that thanking a waiter or waitress is polite. If however you are in the middle of a conversation a nice smile aimed directly at the server should be acceptable. Politeness doesn't cost anything and being nice makes you feel better about yourself.

[gazzawazza]

I find it very rude if they don't thank a waiter/waitress, like people say, good manners cost nothing and make people feel valued.

[Poosie34]

I have waited on a lot of tables during my career and a lot of people think it is enough that you are getting paid for doing the job you are doing. Also, the fact that they are tipping you would seem quite an adequate 'thankyou'. However, money doesn't always help someone's self-esteem-the main thing that people on here are talking about. I always acknowledge the waiter or waitress and give them a personal tip.