Comb-over

[Scanning]

I work in an open plan office. I have a a member of staff in his late 50's which I'm having real problems dealing with on a work level. He is the most miserable person I have ever met, he moans about everything, from first thing in the morning when he walks in with his umbro trainers with grey farrah trousers on, all the way through till late afternoon when he leaves. Nothing is ever simple with him, he moans about everything to do with work, he has no respect for his supervisors or managers and just needs to be whinging about everything. He has this very wierd thing which I call "wobble head", when he gets on a roll moaning his head wobbles from side to side and he just sees the negative side of literally everything. He has an extreme case of comb over hair (Rab C Nesbitt style), which makes me chuckle when he goes into "wobble head" mode with "that" hair!. Worse thing is that im wondering what happens on a windy day, does he stick the hair down?. Also on certain days the body odour coming from his direction is nothing short of making me wanna hurl everywhere. His birthday is due soon and the guys are thinking of having a collection to buy him something, I don't think i shall participate in this as I do have "issues" with him. He even whistles old war songs, very odd!. Any ideas how to deal with him, also what about the guys buying him something?

[raysparx]

Bet he's got grubby Y fronts on as well,do us a favour go ove undo his trousers and have a look for us !!!!

If you don't like him though,and he does sound a miserable git,just try to ignore him, as for a prezzie, maybe deodarant might be usefull or some hair gell !!!

[Scanning]

thanks for the comments raysparx. Don't think I'll take you up on the undoing his trousers comment but I'm sure you are correct!. The deodorant was something I did think about, but the hair gel is a good idea. I did even think a tupea may be a nice gift for the boys to get him?

[hectic]

Ha ha, wobble head! Maybe buy him some of that spray on hair stuff, gotta be worth a giggle!

[ali_alic]

Weren't you complaining on a previous post about the "oldies" in your office. If I remember rightly you were the manager there, can't you take him to one side and speak to him re office morale. Or maybe just reflect on whether you have a problem with ageism??

Just a thought!!

[alfiebrady]

Scanning, in your previous Culling Session post, you say you're after 'constructive answers'. You seemed to have got an answer you were looking for. Have your management techniques not worked?

[noxlumos]

Scanning aren't you the bloke they based David Brent on?

[alfiebrady]

...beyond ironic...

[raysparx]

Blimey, I shouldn't have answered this one, i'm 58, wheres the Guillotine?, i'll have me bloody head chopped off now, mind you I don't smell !!!!

[berniecuddles]

buy him a comb----he will never part with it !!!

[kazminx]

buy him he-haw and trip him up on the way past..i dont like him now...pain in the arse!!

[compman]

Scanning, you certainly can tell the tale, but you must keep a check on what you've written previously if you don't want people calling you a liar..

As 'ali_alic' says, you were a manager on a previous posting; if that's the case why don't you manage instead of having to whinge to us. I hope you haven't been demoted in the last couple of weeks!

If it is the case that you are the manager, I trust you don't type up your managerial reports in the same way as you write your postings on this site.

Use a few paragraphs to break the story up. Don't serve your story up in one great lump. If it's more than five or six lines long, paragraphs are a must to make the posting readable.

Getting back to your 'colleague', how comes he whistles war songs when he wouldn't have been born until well after the war finished? Now, Beatles songs I could understand!

But this leads on to another puzzle, I work in an open plan office, and there's no way that anyone would dare to whistle in it. It would be the height of rudeness when others are trying to work. When I think of it, I cannot recollect anyone ever whistling in the office, and in fact hardly anyone whistles at all these days.

Looking forward to your next entry, they cheer me up!

[joko]

you sound thoroughly lovely!

did it ever occur to you he may be doing these things just to annoy you?

thats what i'd do to someone like you.

[spinchimp]

You really are a pr*t of the first order, scanning. These are clearly wind-up posts - do grow up.

[Scanning]

spinchimp, thanks for your comments once again, I feel i almost know you.... and it does seem a little odd that you keep responding to my posts?... clearly are wind ups? why are you answering my posts?. nothing better to do eh?compman, loved your reply, many thanks. the paragraph issue is a little problematic due to wanting to write more to give as much detail as possible to set the mood, unfortunately I have to cut down to to text limits... hence th lack of paragraphs etc. And its all true, the war songs thing like i said is VERY odd!!!!

[LittleBishop]

I like to whistle the Great Escape at extreme volume round the office, to great annoyance of others!

[LittleBishop]

I like to whistle the theme to the great escape at extreme volume around the office, to great annoyance of others!

[LittleBishop]

oops