grandparents rights - uk

[ConfusedMum]

i have trawled many a site looking for info and found very little. i dont want to go speak to a solicitor just yet, i just want some info really as im not sure the case would 'stand' in a court and don't want to waste money.

basically - me and my partner are very much together and we have a lil boy who is less than a year old. the past few months his parents have been awful. terrible with us. even sinking as low as to blackmail my partner with 'things' such as you arn't welcome at home any more, clear your stuff out of the house etc etc. silly little things that really hurt my partner and in effect 'hurt' our relationship.

well his mum has decided she wants to go for grandparents rights. after a head to head she's made it clear she will see a solicitor

i have MANY times said to her she's welcome to come to my home, of which me and my son share with my grandparent - yet she says no. i actually have her recorded saying to the effect of i don't see why i should have to travel to see my grandson.

i refuse to take my son down for the simple reason when we do the atmosphere is awful and me and my partner end up arguing and getting upset with EACH OTHER. no enviroment for my son really, we don't argue infront of him but lil ones do know when things arn't right.

would a case like this stand up in court?

any advice but be greatly appreciated! thank you.

[Pippa68]

Sorry to hear you are in this position :o(

Not sure as to the legalities, but the Children Act 1989 may be worth a look as the courts are really more interested in the rights of children rather than the adults (in some cases quite rightly so!).

Try putting your Q into the law section ~ you may find more knowledgeable people than I there...good luck x

[ConfusedMum]

my son has never had a r/ship with them as they've never wanted to make the effort to come up - it's all their way or none at all.

thank you for your help - i'll go research now thank you again!

[Pippa68]

No problem..I don't really feel as if I have helped in any way!

What I can say is that the grandparents have made a very serious mistake by not travelling to visit their grandchild. As in contact disputes/issues with mums & dads, if a parent won't make the effort then courts can't see how they want contact in the first place (this is from personal experience).

I usually advocate contact between families, but understand the difficulties that can arise in relationships..I am experiencing a bit of it myself right now!

Please let me know how you get on :o)

[ConfusedMum]

that's what i'm wondering - if by her refusing to come up and see him wheather there will be a case at all. if i'm GiViNG her access which from the VERY limited information i can find on the internet then the case can not be took to court, as i'm NOT restricting access.

of all the sites i've read i've basically seen the same 'guidlines' which are basically :

what's in the childs best interests (although i don't see how my son going down to them is in any more of his best interests than them coming up here where he lives and is comfortable in his surroundings etc etc)

when the grandparents have had a r/ship with their grandchild and that has been taken away (which as of yet hasn't happened as they arn't willing to make the effort)

when parents divorce

when the childs safty is in question.

clearly my childs safty is not an issue and me and my partner are very much together.

so from them 'guidlines' they wouldn't have a case, i'm just trying to find out if there is any other 'guidlines'. wheather all that i have done is correct and if there is anything else i can do to prevent this mad women trying to dissrupt my sons routine.

[ConfusedMum]

in reply to the parents not making an effort - as you can read we have made an effort, I have actually tried talking to my partners mother and both times she has got 'ratty' for use of a better word, the 2nd time even threatening to hit me. she doesn't want to communicate with me - she actually told my partner 'i don't wanna talk to her' - i don't know what else to do :(

[Pippa68]

Sorry ~ I didn't mean you as parents making an effort. I was referring to contact cases/issues between parents when they split up and fight over the children...in these cases the parent without contact should make every effort to keep contact going ~ not expecting the other parent to do all the work. I hope this clarifies my previous post :o)

I would imagine you have the stronger position anyway. From what I can see, you are not denying contact at all..as you say, you have offered for them to come & visit which is all you need to do. No court in the land is going to force you to travel the distance to take your son there (I would assume, this may be questionable which is why I suggest the law section). Only if they get to the door & you refuse access may the courts be interested..but only slightly!

[myselfness]

since you have evidence of you offering access the case would definatly not hold up in court...

however you are within your rights to refuse acess if you feel it is an unacceptable environment for your son

...not that you should do it out of spite but if the situation becomes unbearable between your partner/yourself and his parents or jsut feel it may be affecting your son you are entitled to do so

[ConfusedMum]

it's not out of spite - as i have said many a time they can come down. if i was being nasty and spitful i would tell them they are not welcome in my house, at all. kwim? i havn't ever. i don't think taking my son into an enviroment like that is a good idea. i don't think leaving a less than 7month old baby without his parents is a good idea either. babies need their parents. they need familiarlarity *SP?* as far as i'm concerned.