Ive taken new things on to get "out there" meeting people

[steve208]

But i am not sure about it i am just getting me up tight and stressed.

Due to work commitments i was not able to go to some things last week so i feel rather under poressure and scared this week.

In the last few months i have taken up the following:-

Charity work at the local office of a cancer charity doing admin tasks at least once a week. and i held a coffee morning last week at work which raised �135. I did do a day in the office last week so dont feel i have missed out too much. But was there again tooday and as i dont know everything about all the campaigns i keep asking for help and feel like a pain to the permenant staff.

Also every wednesday i am volunteering to do some conservation work in the local area. The people doing this are mainly much older than me (retired) but they are nice and it is fun and good for me to be getting on with tasks in the outdoors. I didnt go to this last week as i needed a day to rest with working both weekends so had to conserve my energy. I phoned them today and forgot to say it was me and the chap at the office was oh i thought it was you when i said oh by the way its steve at the end of the call. I mean maybe tis just cos i sound younger on the phone than the other people?

[steve208]

cont'd

Also i have joined a social group but could not go last thursday as i was still making cakes for the charity coffee morning last friday. The people there seem nice its just that when i went two weeks ago i felt that i was on a different wavelength to everyone else and feklt very very down after the night was over. The group meet every thursday and satarday night but i can only make it to the thursday nights as i work late satardays. They say this is fine as you can go to as many or few events as you like.

Anyway i am just very overwhealmed with all the things i am doing at the moment. And despite doing this to get out there meeting people i dont feel that i am getting on the road to doing what i want which is to make friends. I feel its better for me to just give up on me every maiing any friends in life.

I am sorry if this is negative and i know i moan a lot on here but i am so frustrated with myself for being no good at the moment.

[~x ello x~]

right that's it steve!!! i'm on my way to kick you up the bum!! i warned you this day would come!! lol!
seriously though babe, you seem to have taken some positive steps so don't be down on yourself!! keep going, do what you can but obviously don't wear yourself out completely. a little at a time.
love posy xXx

[steve208]

thanks posy! see you have changed name again!

I dunno it just feels al too much not always in terms of being pyhiscally tired but emotionally being overloaded.

Also of late i have been thinking about getting out and trying to find a girlfriend but always tell myself i cant do this until i have some friends i am confident around. But it would be good to meet and or go out with a girl as i would like the companionship.

[~x ello x~]

well you know the answer to that then don't you!! get out there and find some girls to talk to! don't say that you can't or anything coz you can!! just get out there and go!!
if i wasn't married i'd be your girlfriend babe!!! you sound really lovely!! xXx

[oldwoman]

Right son its your lucky night, I have decided to take you under my wing. We havent communicated before but I have followed your threads and your going full circle. Give me two things good about your life.

[~Wingnut~]

Whoa there Steve! I'm not suprised you feel over whealmed that's a hefty lot of volunteering for someone who works as well. I think it is still early days yet to feel like you are making friends, if you were at these places everyday then yes you would know these people better so would feel more like friends with them. Don't expect it over night, I suspect that is why you feel frustrated but it will take time, you've taken a very big step here, one that a lot of people wouldn't have the nerve to do so well done. Don't give up and certainly don't give yourself such a hard time.
You raised �135 for charity, well bloody done! you should feel very proud of yourself for acheiving that, you have helped make a difference.
As for feeling a pain asking for help all the time today, I'm sure your probably imagining it worse than it is and given time you will know what and how to do things and about the charity and you will forget these early days :o)
Might be an idea to cut back on some of the volunteering if it is leaving you emotionally as well as physically drained. Prehaps do some more in a few months time or even a year's time, your doing more than the average person does for charity so don;t feel like you have to do our share as well :o)

[~Wingnut~]

Apoligises for the long winded post of mine above, I'm in a waffling mood tonight and not explaining myself very well xx

[steve208]

well thank you i dont know why people (read women say i am lovely) its really annoying for some reason id prefer to be a bad boy or something. But im one of those people who does everything by the letter of the law and is 99% honest! I mean that i always try to do things in an honest and hard working way the only time i dont is if i make a mistake or misunderstand/misinterprit what is expected of me.

Hum there are women at work i am interested in but think that would not work out they say never to date work colleagues and i have seen work relationships go wrong most of the time! Put myself on a dating website a while ago and there are some nice women there atm so will see!

[steve208]

thanks wingnut. I have some holiday booked from work soon so that should give me a chance to re-charge my emotionally batteries.

At the moment i think i feel more pressured as i have taken on more hours at work. About six weeks or so ago i was doing around 20 hours paid work (shop/warehouse), then one day usually tuesday at the charity office, wednesday doing conservation work, and thursday evening at the social group.

Typically now i will work sunday all day, work monday all day, did 10 - 4 at charity office today, doing conservation work 9 - atound 2 tommorow then home for diner and on to shop to work 5 - 10pm, have thursday and friday free but have some jobs to do around house, will try to do house work for mum, then prob gona work 6 till 7 on satarday!
it will all start again on sunday though workiong more days next week!

[VINNY100_2]

Hiya steve...I think your doing brill,Your not going to get on with everybody...who does....but hang on in there...!dont give up.Your giving yourself a chance to meet people....pat yourself on the back..!your make friends in the end ...trust me..just be yourself...you know...When I first moved to devon...I didnt no anybody...I joined a skittle team..now I cant get rid of the bu**gers.You should be proud of yourself for trying out all these things...keep on trucking....steve..(:-)

[steve208]

ok will keep going, im just rather annoyed that in my current circumstances i canot do my favorite thing which is to play hockey. This is alway on a wednesday night and satarday mornings both of which i have to work given my current contract.

I have three other things i want to or could do....

1. go to salsa classes on a monday evening at a place round the corner from me but that would be very scary and could meet people i know there who live locally and would look so bad going on my own.

2. join the local friends of the earth group - this might be older people but then again there could be some young hippie types which would be cool!

3. go along to a letter writing evening with local amnesty group but again think it could be all older people!

[makemesmile]

Hi Steve208, I don't know much about your situation, but it sounds like you're trying hard to get out and meet new people. Maybe too hard. Leave your self some time on your own, to 'regroup' and consider the big strides you're making. If you bombard yourself with new things and responsibilities, then you may start to suffer with insecurities and fears. Be kind to yourself : )

[VINNY100_2]

Well said makemesmile...(((*_*)))
fer steve (:o)

[country_boy]

Steve mate, you do loads, loads more than I do! Try not to stress about the small things and be a bit selfish now and again, do something just for you and bollix to everyone else. You're a good bloke and deserve inner peace - hope you find it.