sticky situation

[hannah333]

I recently moved in with a friend who I have lived with before, just not in this city. Just after we signed the rent contract she got a job in her home city meaning she is away from Thursday to Monday. I am so miserable by myself. I dont have much money and I need to save so cant go out , and I always saw this year as being fun just because this friend and I always have fun whatever, but she is just not around. I dont begrudge her the job - she needs it and its something she loves, but I cant help feeling rejected and second best to all the friends she has at home, whilst to me she is my best friend. Im in a total catch 22 - I dont want to make her feel guilty (it's so hard not to get angry with her sometimes) or drag her back here just to keep me company, and I dont have the money to go out socializing all the time to make good friends of my own. Im only going to be in this fix for a year, but what can I (or her) do in the meantime to make this rubbish situation better?

[dot.hawkes]

put your situation in perspective and try to remember what you were doing a year ago and realise how the last 12 months have flown and then settle yourself down to getting on with things.

[nursecarla]

I dont think it is healthy to depend too much on one particular friend, and certainly dont wait around this next year, keep yourself busy find something you enjoy doing that doesnt involve money and as dots says time will pass so much more quickly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[LauJ]

Are there any nice pubs near you? Perhaps getting a weekend job in one of them could help. You'll make new friends, socialise, and earn money all in one go. I used to love working in my local, made loads of great mates....

[tomtech]

i would be quite happy to come and keep you from being lonely and unhappy. i could bring some nice wine and we could watch the tv or a good film. what do you think?

[elpea]

Hi Hannah... a similar thing happened to me some years ago, and I turned into such a needy, clingy pain in the *** that our friendship turned sour... I ended up being moody when she was around, rather than enjoying the amount of time we did have together, and she didn't want to put up with me anymore and moved out. At the time I wailed that she was selfish, inconsiderate, etc, but now in hindsight I realise she was right, and now I realise I wouldn't want anyone to put pressure on me like that. You need to trust your friend and your friendship and realise you've not been rejected, it's just the situation - and maybe even though she enjoys her job, it could be quite a tough situation for her to be away from home so much. Try and focus on things you can do to use the time you have alone - one day you won't have this kind of peace and space (boyfriend, kids, any number of situations) - are you into reading, drawing, making cards, cooking, baking cakes, knitting, watching films, writing letters, dancing, yoga, cycling etc... something that's nice for you to do, and makes you feel good?