Christmas and three girls

[zimzam]

I have my friends three girls that I want to remember for a small Christmas gift each this year. They live 4300 miles away from me, over the pond, and I think it is wiser for me if I sent them cash in individual christmas cards so that they could get what they wanted - rather than me try and choose something that probably would go down like a ton of hot bricks. Their ages are 12, 14 and 16. Would it be acceptible to give them all the same amount of money? (like $20 each in a card) or should I give more to the eldest? I don't want my present to them individually to cause any warfare amongst them come Christmas Day but I feel giving them cash is the better answer as I could never choose for them or know what they personally wanted. Its a question of giving the same amount to all three is the right thing to do or not. Help!

[devilwoman]

their parents probably hand out pocket money according to age, but as this is a special time and its a gift , yes i think it best you give them the same amount, cos for example if you were buying a mobile phone for each girl, you wouldnt buy

an expensive phone
a medium priced phone
a cheap phone



a gift is a gift is a gift. treat them the same at christmas time. hope this helps

[saxy_jag]

The same value for all, although you should be careful about sending cash through the post. My Aunt has just received a letter I posted to her back in July, and only then because the people who received it (three states away) were good enough to send it on.

What about something like an Amazon.com voucher each? Better still, find a store that you know has a branch near them and arrange to have vouchers posted to them.

[rhona_j]

Don't send actual cash. How about sending a cheque?

I always felt very grown up when Aunts that lived miles away sent a cheque for a present when I was their ages!

[spudqueen]

Don't, whatever you do, send a cheque. It will probably cost them more than the cheques are worth in charges as it's not that simple to pay a sterling cheque into a dollar account. Either send cash (all the same amount - if you send more for one than the others it will be classed as favouritism) or consider getting a gift card from somewhere like Target http://sites.target.com/site/en/spot/page.jsp? title=egiftcards or you could send them some Hersheys chocolate http://www.hersheygifts.com/

[Mrs_Pegasus]

I have relatives in the US and I arrange Amazon vouchers via the US site and send them direct to their house over there.

[rhona_j]

Whoops, didn't think about charges!

But please, don't send cash, I wouldn't do it within the UK let along overseas.

Amazon vouchers are a good idea!

[zimzam]

Well you have certainly given me some great ideas. I think I may settle for an Amazon voucher because of their ages. Some other of your ideas would be useful for friends living out there who are older, so thank you very much everyone - my Christmas problem seems to be solved.

[joko]

it is wrong to view the older one as somehow different from the others.
if they were 10 years older and the others were 4 or 5 then perhaps but when there is only 2 years between them it is wrong.

my dad said to me once, that my brother gets special treatment because he is the oldest (2yrs) - he then said my sister gets special treatment because she is the baby of the family (1yr) - obviously!!

however, when i pointed out that this may work if there were 6-7 siblings, but when there are only 3, of similar ages, what you are effectively doing is singling one child out as being less important.

he had a large family and to him this was the way his family was and in his eyes 'that way things are' but he hadn't even considered it from my point of view.

never give special treatment. it breeds contempt and arrogance.

[janetsflower]

II was going to say Amazon vouchers too but see it has already been suggested. Great idea. And of equal value for each definately. Or if they have PayPal accounts you could pay into that, no i think Amazon