ChatterBank1 min ago
Im bored
Anyone know any good jokes/games etc to get me through the day (and week!!)
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Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message. Best to do this in the privacy of your own company or people will think you're weird, which you definitely are.
See how long you can hold a note (Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a mate, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.
Try to not think about rabbits (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about rabbits anyway.
Use your secret mind power (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Pick a passer by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
Scratch yourself (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good? Err ok moving on...
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises. Then try and hold a conversation using that word as much as possible. Brilliant!
� Pretend to be a car (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Try blinking eyes as indicators or using an imaginery steering wheel for extra authenticity.
� Look at something for a while, shut eyes, study the after image (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes. Not too hard or you'll damage your retinal nerve....apparently.
� Get yourself as nauseated as possible (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
� Invent a weird twitch (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping. You'd be surprised how many people ignore you.
� Make a low buzzing noise (Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes) Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts. Its all about pitch control this one so concentrate or you'll be rumbled.
� Look at something for a while, shut eyes, study the after image (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes. Not too hard or you'll damage your retinal nerve....apparently.
� Get yourself as nauseated as possible (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
� Invent a weird twitch (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping. You'd be surprised how many people ignore you.
� Make a low buzzing noise (Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes) Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts. Its all about pitch control this one so concentrate or you'll be rumbled.
� Send someone an unaddressed letter (Amusement Potential: indefinite) Bit of a slow burner this one I've found due to unreliability of the postal service but simply draw a map of the area they live on the envelope, with an arrow in the approximate area of their house. Dont forget at least a name or it may be a complete non-starter. Postie's like a challenge though trust me...
� See what's in your neighbour's rubbish (Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR or some back copies of Hello magazine.
� Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
� Send spooky emails (Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
� Make prank phone calls (Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds complaining about the quality of their Big-Macs whilst voicing your preference for Burger King's XL Double Whopper.
� See what's in your neighbour's rubbish (Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR or some back copies of Hello magazine.
� Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
� Send spooky emails (Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
� Make prank phone calls (Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds complaining about the quality of their Big-Macs whilst voicing your preference for Burger King's XL Double Whopper.
� Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you (Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes) What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know really.
� Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...Arrrrrrrrgh!!!!! Watch for cars though. Or uneven surfaces. Dont wanna really injure yourself.
� Try and sound Welsh (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
� Burn things with a magnifying glass (Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining. If not slightly risky if you're already the owner of an ASBO
� Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...Arrrrrrrrgh!!!!! Watch for cars though. Or uneven surfaces. Dont wanna really injure yourself.
� Try and sound Welsh (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
� Burn things with a magnifying glass (Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining. If not slightly risky if you're already the owner of an ASBO
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THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
� Have a game of swivel chair raceing (Amusement Potential: 10-20 mins) Remove the arms and back from chair (for added ease of movement), construct an obstucle course around the office/control room/house and see who can complete in quickest time. Extra points awarded for suicide racing with a blindfold. May aslo need an official for this one as mental time keeping can be very unreliable
� Have a water drinking contest (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterwards. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them. Or your head if you're stupid. Substitute water for Jack Daniels if you're feeling particularly plucky. (Which is what i did on my birthday but forgot to involve tell anyone else so had to forfeit my victory).
� Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work? Moments of silence tend to skew the result of this one especially if they know you're the only other person in the room.
� Have a "Who is less competitive" competition wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
�
� Have a game of swivel chair raceing (Amusement Potential: 10-20 mins) Remove the arms and back from chair (for added ease of movement), construct an obstucle course around the office/control room/house and see who can complete in quickest time. Extra points awarded for suicide racing with a blindfold. May aslo need an official for this one as mental time keeping can be very unreliable
� Have a water drinking contest (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterwards. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them. Or your head if you're stupid. Substitute water for Jack Daniels if you're feeling particularly plucky. (Which is what i did on my birthday but forgot to involve tell anyone else so had to forfeit my victory).
� Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work? Moments of silence tend to skew the result of this one especially if they know you're the only other person in the room.
� Have a "Who is less competitive" competition wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
�
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc.Try looking at things from its point of view, too. Make sure there's no one else in the house at the time to see you though. And that you do have a dog cos otherwise its just strange behaviour.
� Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on. Or accuses you of being weird, which again, you clearly are.
� Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck (Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
� Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on. Or accuses you of being weird, which again, you clearly are.
� Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck (Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
