Nine year old with low self esteem and no common sense!

[nykkieberry]

My colleague has a nine year old boy (third in a close family of four) that is very intelligent but incredibly gullible, naive and lacking in common sense. This is becoming a big problem at school as he is disruptive and alternates between getting in trouble (for example, by shouting out answers to questions rather than putting is hand up or saying exactly what is on his mind) and being set up by other children for 'crimes' he didn't commit. . The school are now trying to involve a psychologist. He refuses to realise his potential either for reasons of self-esteem or plain laziness. Reward systems haven't worked. He's also very tall and overweight for his age, which may be at the root of the problem. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get him back on track?

[woofgang]

I have no wish to alarm, but this sounds as though he could have bigger problems than self esteem or laziness. I don't think that its appropriate to play the diagnosis game over the net, especially as a child is involved. Please if you can, talk to your colleague about asking her GP to refer her son to a paediatrician or paediatric psychologist right now, or accept the schools offer if that will be faster.. I know that this kind of service is in short supply in certain parts of the country and your colleague may need to be prepared to be forceful if she goes the GP route. At very least the family could be reassured that threre is nothing seriously amiss. Again, I have no intention of being alarmist.

[incitatus]

I would agree with woofgang. but also indulgen in some cognitive analysis of behaviour. not in a "that is bad " way, but in exploring social boundaries, discussing why people have systems for this sort of thing, and so on. This does sound like behaviour indicative of a cognitive or affective disorder, but then that would be the case if he was doing it for fun. what you must do is to try and find out from his point of view what ois going on. good luck.

[jjf2003]

You must turn out all ights at midnight, light a candle and have a Holy Bible in one hand and a phial of holy water in the other. You must say aloud: "Unclean spirit, depart from this child and return to the place from whenst thou came! For it is the power of the Father that commands thee..." (splash the holy water in the sign of the cross) "It is the poer of the Son that commands thee..." (sign of the cross) "and the power of the Holy Spirit that commands thee!" (yep, you've guessed it, sign of the cross again). That should do the trick!

[quattro]

There might be any number of reasons but they should seek help now before he reaches secondary school as he will obvously suffer bullying there and as he is a big lad he may start dishing it out himself as he learns to appreciate his size . Diet may have a bearing on it there was a programme on a while ago about identical twins who ate a normal kid's diet of crisps sweets pop and so on . One twin was put on a diet that was free from certain E numbers and his behaviour improved remarkably while his brother who remained on the normal stuff was like a Tazmanian devil in comparison . There are tests available to see if you are sensitive to any foods but it may be as simple as sticking to foods that dont have any additives in .

[tracymort]

Just a thought, i'm no expert on these things but is there a possibility of him being in the autistic spectrum. You say he says whatever is on his mind. Correct me if i'm wrong but that is one of the traits of aspergers. Where they say anything whether or not it's socially acceptable to do so or not. I'd also definately look at diet. What you put in is what you get out! Does he consume alot of diet drinks do you know? Aspartame can cause all sorts of problems including behavioural.