Male/Female friendship - The thin line

[Surreylass]

I am in a quandry and would appreciate some advice from you helpful people...

I have been friends with this chap for about 9 yrs and we used to work with each other. We lost touch for little abit but now back in touch. Well i never fancied him ages ago but oh my, i do now. (why i dont know!). Anyway things are back to normal and we are good pals. All our joint friends laugh and say 'there was always something between you two' and comments like that and we just raise an eyebrow and laugh but nothing has happened.

He makes comments all the time and says i give him goosebumps every time he sees me etc. He also jokes and says 'you can stay the night if you want' and when i try to respond sugestively he says 'It'll be �20, cheaper than a B&B) and backs off. So not really mate like comments as such anymore. Neither of us are putting ourselves out there to say something but this is driving me nuts. Should i say i think of him different now or leave it. I am also wary of the comments i will get from all my mates who will rip the P***

i dont wanna ruin a friendship but very aware that more would be very cool for us both as we get on so well.

I have tried just upping it a step and being flirty but we are both so sarcastic to each other that its all coming across as a joke

[Rubyrose]

Hmmmm tricky... It's hard to try and do anything with out doing any longterm damage!

He could:
A - really like you and be too scared to say anything or
B - Really like you as a mate and love that you can be sarcastically flirty with eachother and not worry that it means the world!

Let's say it's A - Then you need to tell him you like him but without making it sound like it does mean the world. Tell him you look at him in such a sexy light now, not like you used to! Make comments like 'You're just the kind of guy I'd go for'. If none of these 'obvious' hints work then it might just be time to tell him outright.

If it's B then you still have to tell him... You need to know and if he doesn't feel the same then tell him it's a small crush and you are more than certain it will fade if unreciprocated!

But just tell him.. tell him you have a crush on him and see what he says... if he doesn't see you in that way then you will just flatter him.... if he does see you in that way... then who knows.. but you won't know if you don't take the risk!

[Skreecheeboy]

Just initiate sex and save him his embarassment. He's obviously up for it and he'll relax enough to have a talk about feelings and stuff after you've done the deed! No messin about havin conversations and tryign to guess what the other person's feeling. Actions speak louder than words as they say!

[Rubyrose]

Yeah but if you just go sleeping with him then he may feel uncomfortable afterwards and think it was a mistake.... tell him you have a crush on him and build up a relationship first before you do anything that could ruin the relationship for good.

Remember.. the bigger the action... the bigger the risk!

[Skreecheeboy]

He won't feel uncomfortable afterwards. He'll feel king of the world. Rubes is trying to overcomplice things, men are simple creatures, our one goal in life is to procreate, when we achieve the action of this it is a great sense of achievment, even if we use protection.

PS I didn't mean jump on his penis to initiate sex, there's kissing and touching and holding first.....plenty of time for him to change his mind! ;-)

[Surreylass]

I agree with Pa_ul and Skreech in the fact that i doubt i have misread this all. I know the bloke very well and know in my head what he is thinking. I agree, i don't do 'chats' and so i reckon i will just be brave and say 'when did you get all sexy' or something equivalent

ok.... this weekend the boy is gonna get lucky. haha
cheers

[Skreecheeboy]

Glad to hear it! You can send me the pics at [email protected] lol! Good luck! x

[Skreecheeboy]

Pmsl Paul! It's not really my email address! ;-)

[Surreylass]

oh but where am i gonna send the pics too now Skreech ? :-)

[Skreecheeboy]

You could put them on a bebo site and post the address here.....

[Rubyrose]

Ok ok... sleep with the guy.. what do I care.. I was just trying to help.. but don't come running to me when it all goes t!ts up! Lol... ;o)

[Surreylass]

Thanks Ruby, I know what you're saying and i am not disputing that in an ideal world a woman likes to be romanced but i need to grab this bull by his horns and rattle him a bit :-)

[Skreecheeboy]

Absolutely, if a guy has been out of the saddle for too long it gets harder to get back on. Plus all this nonsense about equal rights and stuff, c'mon then, play the effin game, we've had to do the chasing since the dawn of time, get with the programme that you's started!

[Rubyrose]

Hey.. I'm not saying act all shy and coy by any means I have have grabbed a few bulls by the horns in my time but if you cherish the friendship... think through the repercussions of this one first!