Why does it hurt??

[mistys]

I know im not fat so why does it hurt to be called it??

Ive only ever been called fat twice in my life, once was when i was 16 and a size 8/10 and my doctor told me i was getting fat and the second time was last night by the most fat, bald, sweaty, repulsive man ive ever met (a family friend).

But even though I know im not fat (a size 12) why does it hurt so much when your called it??

[confused79]

I know what you mean totally, im a size 10-12 and i had the most insesitive mother in law who thankfully is my exs mum so have now escaped her.
One day she was flicking through some family photos and said oh look you look fat in that picutre, and i was so hurt i almost cried i wanted to smack her one, more to the point she is a size 14-16 not that that is big but she is bigger than me, it took me ages to get over that.
My ex husband used to call me nellie the elephant and i hated it, i then stated to lose weight and lost too much and started to look ill.
These people are just jealous, what a cheeck of a bald fat man to say that to you, i woudl of said ' have you looked at yourself lately!!'.
I cant beleive a doctor told you was fat why was that? that is so unprossesional.

[bigmamma]

Oh mystys , it must hurt , fat or not , some family friend eh !
x Can't see how a size 12 would be carrying any extra anyway !

[johnlambert]

Because we are told via various media such as magazines, tv etc that fat is ugly and repulsive, it's how we see ourselfs, we all like to think that we are slim good looking people like kate moss or david beckham when in reality we are not, so to target how we look when we feel insecure is an easy way to make someone feel bad, however, being overweight does not make you a bad person, and, as in the case of your second example, it deflects the fact that the person saying the hurtful thing is far from perfect.

[mistys]

Thanks confused and mamma.

I did say that to him and apparenty cos im young i have to stay looking fit so he can perv over me. I was so mad and he just didnt seem to understand why.

The doc told me that cos id put on weight since id last seen him and he said 'you dont wanna be getting fat at your age' I know its not like calling me fat but it hurt all the same.

[mistys]

Cheers john, I know im overweight for my height but cos im just over 5 foot im ideal weight is about 7 stone which i think i was born as lol
I have put on weight recently and i think thats why it hit such a nerve and the fact of who it came from made it worse.

[topogigo]

It probably hurts because you know it is meant as an insult or at the least a criticism. I have a weight problem mostly of my own low self esteem. Talk to someone dear, chin up!!!!

[bigmamma]

I am 5' 6 and weigh 6st 4 and so I get the other end of the stick and it hurts when someone calls me anorexic or too skinny and " you need to put on a few stones " came from a stranger in town !!!

[mistys]

Ive spoke to my grandparents and sister and they all managed to make me feel a little better.

I was just the last thing i needed last night and ill have to see him again today and I know ill get just as angry when he comes in all smelly and sweating everywhere.

[mistys]

When was it ok for people to start commenting on others weight, it really makes me mad.

If im happy with how i look then thats all that should matter.

[Floella]

Hey Mistys
I can't believe that anyone has the right to comment on someone's appearance, but you have mentioned you work in a pub, and bar staff seem to be targets for most unwelcome comments that you wouldn't get if you worked in a bank for example.
It sounds like he has hit a nerve because you are sensitive about putting on a little bit of weight.
Take comfort from the love and support of your grandparents and sister, and ignore the ignorant comments of someone who needs to look in the mirror before commenting on someone elses appearance.
Love Flo xxxx

[mistys]

I could really do with a mummy huggle flo xx

[bigmamma]

Will a bigmamma cyberhugglecuddle do mystys ....heres one for you :-) xx

[Floella]

One Mummy huggle coming up
((((((((((((( :-) )))))))))))))))))


xxxxxxxxxxx

[nuoyg]

I've been called fat before and it sucks. I'm not fat either and am a 10/12....it's just the fact that someone out there thinks they have the right to determine your size and comment on it. It's rudeness and should someone comment on my size now I tell them that. I think your doctor has a fat(!) cheek. And as for baldy - he probabaly secretly likes you or something. It makes me really cross - in a world where females are pressurised to be skinny and there are so many eating disorders, comments like that are inappropriate.

Meanwhile, my boyf and male friends always say they much prefer a womanly figure than a skinny person. I think we should be proud of our womanly curves - so hold your head up high and let thicky doctor and fatty baldy sod off!! :)

[mistys]

Thank you nuogy, thats what I was thinking!! He a total pervy old man anyway and even said to me I should be thin cos he gotta look at me (almost spat at him cos he SO repulsive to look at)!!

My sister done a really good job of boosting my confidence tonight :)

Thank you everyone for your kind advice xx