Advice and sympathy needed please

[Foxtail]

Hi All - I do post on here under another user name but this is slightly embarrassing so I've used a new user name to spare my blushes. Since I had my baby several years ago I occasionally suffer from 'piles', They got quite bad recently and at one point had to wear pantyliners as they were bleeding I also had to have time off work - although now they have cleared up considerably anyway......
Dr made me an appointment to see a consultant,I have just got back from seeing him and I'm so upset, he was really really, really horrible to me. When he examined me (with a finger up my back passage) it really hurt, I got very tense - justifiably I feel - and he snapped at me 'Relax or I can't examine you' this made it worse and when he tried again it made me cry it hurt so much. He then got really angry and told me that the only way he could examine me was under general anasthetic but that may cause damage to my rear end and I would to quote him 'not be wearing a pantyliner for bleeding but because I wouldn't be able to control my bowel anymore'. He then demanded I decide whether to go ahead and have an examination under a general anasthetic and when I asked for his advice he said it wasn't his problem.
I'm still shaking I'm so upset at the way he treated me and what he said, and the fact I'm now so sore I can barely sit down.
Has anyone had a similar examination under general anasthetic? Does anyone know if he's being truthful - it felt as though he was deliberatley trying to frighten me. Please, sensible answers only, please I'm in no state to take meaness or joking. Thanks

[Octavius]

Lodge a complaint.

http://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns/index.asp

[Shadow Man]

Was there a nurse present. Even as a man, when I had a full examination (looking for prostate cancer) I had to have a somebody else there when the quake stuck a finger up my bum. And this was private, so I imagine the NHS are even more cautious.

[Dassie]

I presume this was the NHS doctor? My wife had the same problem and then went to see a private specialist. What a difference and now all is sorted. If you can afford it then it's worth it!

[johnlambert]

This type of examination should not need a general anasthetic, having this type of anasthesia creates problems and reqwuires trained personnell to carry it out, far too risky for checking your "Farmer Giles". As Octavius
suggests, lodge a complaint, he needs to be re trained in his "bedside manner"

[confused79]

Thats discuting that a doctor can do that to you in that way.

Please dont feel embarressed it is very common i have suffered from it several times, more as i have had 3 children.

I would advised you making appointment to see your nurse instead of the doctor.

But first i would defo make a complaint you should feel saf with your doctor and by no means have been treat in this way. Its so insensitive.

[nannon]

oh thats awful - esp as the situation i imagine was slightly embarassing. And i for one would have definately been tense if anything was being puched up there!
make a formal complaint about him - and prehaps see if you can go to see someone else?

[Foxtail]

There was a nurse present, I think she was a bit shocked at the way he spoke to me as when he was out of the room she was very sympathetic. He wasn't demanding I have the general anasthetic there and then but when I asked him for more information and advice on the best course of action he was really short with me. I really tried my best to relax but under the circumstances it was never going to happen. I'm going to go back and see my GP and ask her advice about the procedure but I'm worried that even if I go ahead with it he won't take as much care of my poor rear end as he should be.
I'd love to go private but unfortunately I can't afford it Dassie.

[efc]

I agree with nannon - make a complaint and ask to see someone different! It is quite acceptable to ask for a second opinion.

[confused79]

Well you have a witness then the nurse, when you make a complain and you really should

[O'Reilly]

I am sure your Doctor was very sympathetic when he/she examined you and decided to pass your details onto a consultant. I would be inclined to see your Doctor and tell your Doctor about this consulant and his attitude then ask your doc is he/she can get you an appointment with another consultant. I am sure if you explain everything fully you will receive a sympathetic helpful response. Having to have a stranger check your backside does not really make you feel relaxed and if someone was telling me off and demanding that I should relax I think I would end up squeezing my back orifice tight with fear. Have a word with your doctor and there is no reason at all that you do not write to the local hospital "head bod" and no reason at all why you do not write to the general medical council and lodge a polite complaint.

[Goodsoulette]

I couldnt comment on whether it would cause more problems. I have heard of lots of naturall remedies that help though. Drinking chamomile tea can help, if drunk several times a day. Drinking High percentage aloe vera juice can help the pain, swelling and itching and squatting when doing bowel movements reduces the strain. All interim measures but apparently the squatting can completely cure the symptoms,

[Foxtail]

It wasn't my Doctor, she's lovely, it was the consultant that I'd been referred to.
I will complain I think.
I'm still a bit shellshocked at the moment, aside from the pyhsical pain he really scared me, saying things like 'well there might be something serious wrong with you but if I can't examine you I can't find out can I?' and then the comment about permanent damage to my bowel.
I'm usually a pretty tough cookie but I just sobbed.

[johnlambert]

I would sob if I had a sweaty Doctor's finger wiggling around my ringpiece!!
Complain foxy complain

[Englishbird]

Oh my god!! I'm horrified to hear your story!!

Ring your normal doctor straight away and tell him/her what's happened. And make an appointment with someone else.

That is totally unacceptable behaviour, I have had some bad experiences with doctors before and they left me terrified to go to the doctors.

I really hope you find another doctor, this man should not be in this proffession if he treats people like that!

[tiny e.a]

Definitely complain, these consultants think they are above any code of practise and this one evidently needs to be reminded he is not. Make the complaint soon, otherwise you'll end uo thinking there's no point and he's have got away with intimidating and humiliating you which he must not do.

[Foxtail]

Thanks JohnL I know I said no joking but that cheered me up!

[Foxtail]

I'm going to write down what happened and then make an appointment to see my own GP and discuss what to do with her I think.
Thank you so much for all your support - I really was in a state when I got home and there was no-one around I could talk to so I'm very grateful for all of you for being here!
I'm starting to feel a bit better now.
X

[confused79]

I am so discuted honestly especially a consultant he should be used to this and the pain it causes, please make a complaint dont let it lie and tell your doctors surgery, did you have anyone with you relative/friend?

[confused79]

Sorry my spelling is terrible i type quicker than i think haha

[Foxtail]

No I didn't take anyone with me - I guess I should have taken Mr Hellyon or a friend but piles are a bit private really aren't they? I know they shouldn't be but it's not a glamorous complaint is it!?