Fisticuffs

[salsadancer]

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asked Sean the bartender.

"Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight" says Paddy.

"That little s*** O"Connor" says Sean. "he couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, " a shovel is what he had in his hand, and a terrible lickin' is what he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," says Paddy, " Mrs. O"Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."