wife and coke (part2)

[TAH1612]

pls read "wife and coke" first. she did coke before we were married. I have done so a few times aswell but only to keep me awake long enough so that she might want sex. We never brought alot either. We have hardly ever had sex when she hasnt been drunk or high. Since weve been married though its like she thinks its a license to do what she wants. She spends upto �150-�200 in a night and since weve been married even that isnt enough to get her in the mood. She comes up to me and insinuates that we will have geat sex all night long and how much she loves me and so on but, as soon as shes got the stuff she completely turns around. She goes out and leaves me indoors with the kid and doesnt come back until the next day. If i try to ring her she gets a friend to answer. I just dont know ehere the woman i married has gone. Its only been a month. Seems asthough marriage has really ****** things up. Someone help. Any suggestions?

[Goodsoulette]

150-200 quid a night. Thats like 5 grams of coke!

Go and speak to your doctor, find outn wht help can be offered and if she wont take it, its up to you to get rid. One of you will end up cheating. Either her when shes wrecked or you when someone pays you a bit of attention.

[milliezoe]

I have great sympathy for you the only suggestion i can make is your wife needs help with her addiction if she wants help stand by her if she refuses to seek help then you must walk away by staying as you are you are enabling her to continue her erratic behaviour the only thing you can do is make her realise what she is doing to your marriage i hope things work out for you.

[TAH1612]

thank you both for your replys. Just want to say that the �150-�200 is the worst that i know about. Its not always that much. She knows she does wrong coz the next day she says shes sorry and that she wont do it again and that she loves me and all the usual stuff. She doesnt do it every night but still does upto 3 times on some weeks. We only get one day off work when we are both off and that usually involves her sleeping it off. I we went to court would the mother have more leway than me even with these circumstances? and her backgrouind with social sevices. I already have suspicion that she has cheated already before. I have read message on her phone (i know i shouldnt have) that say things like: did you have fun? from a bloke and hope you had a good time!
I think i need to get rid but i really love her and still do when shes acting like the person i married. Which of course now is never.

[Preggie_Sam]

Does she work then to pay for all this?? I dont think it helped that you did it with her before you got wed, because now shes thinking - its still ok to do it. Id be seriously worried to - ive read what other people have said - and i think the doctor thing sounds a good idea - but to be honest, i think she will throw it back in ur face - thats my opinion, because if she wanted the help (1) she would be, being more open towards you!! & (2) she would tell you she has a problem!!

I can imagine you feel torn - i hope things work out for you.

[TAH1612]

she does work, we both do. Most of the time i find myself picking up the bills though. I didnt want to do it with her before we got wed. Dont even really see the big deal with it. just makes you stay up all night and sleep the next day. And to pay to do that is beyond me. She kept on at me to do it with her, Probably to give her reason to do it herself.

[Preggie_Sam]

You need to talk - because i think you will cheat - only because its natrual to do that, if were not getting affection we need, soon as someone shows us some, thats what we do,

[NORMANTHEDOG]

if you lot believe a single word of all this crap,then your just as bad as the GREEN idiot poster of the question,�200 a night,get real TAH612 and grow up.

[Preggie_Sam]

Answerbank is for people with a question - and u give them an ANSWER!! I think you need to grow up, maybe ur on the wrong site.

[olly8080]

when i first read this i thought what a shame until you said " she leaves me inside with the kid" at that point i stopped reading and thought nowonder she goes aou and leaves you with an atitude like that

[Preggie_Sam]

The kid is hes!! lol how would you feel if someone ur ment to be sharing - a home, bills, a life - a child with, goes out 3 times or more a week, stays out all night - just because u have a child ur still allowed to go out once a week - id be like - hold on im allowed a life to, why dont u stay in a and look after the baby? its selfish what she is doing - very selfish.

[NORMANTHEDOG]

preggie sam,you honestly believe all this

[Preggie_Sam]

What would be get out of lying?

[TAH1612]

Im not lying. Why would i? Said thet �200 was the worst that shes done. If shes out for nearly 18hours this is easily concevable. Dont believe me if you dont want to. Got more pressing issues to sort out.

[Preggie_Sam]

I wouldnt see a point in u lying! Ignore him lol has some of the advice people given you, helped?

[TAH1612]

Yes it has. Was thinking the same thing but think i needed some reasurrance that i was thinking the same way as everyone else would. THANK-YOU PREGGIE-SAM

[Preggie_Sam]

aawww your welcome x

[welshgirlwen]

hi i really feel for you,i had a husband that used to do the same,it took me 5 years to finally admit defeat at a marriage i hoped would last a life time,but would like to add that it was the best thing i ever did,i went on to meet someone wonderful and have two more children,and a very happy and contented life.but i have to say it took a lot of soul searching,and having one parent for a while wasnt so bad for my son.he is 24 now and looks upon his stepdad as his only dad,good luck

[NatalieE]

If i was you i would give her a ultimatum!!

Im a 19 year old woman who takes coke regulary with my bf. I took it before i met him but ive never had as much as i do with him, but he can sit there n say im addicted to coke wen im not!! i can go with out it n dont really get a buzz. i just take it so he doesnt have it all!! and the fact is ive never brought it!! he buys it!!

Your wife needs to understand that doin what she is doin is wrong!! you have a child together n her responsibility is with her son and husband!!

If she would rather go out and take coke than spend time with a family that loves her, then chick she's a waste of space!!

If social services found out that she is takin coke they will make a case against her, and make your life harder as a couple!!

I havent got any children yet but if i did have one with my partner i will give him a ultimatum "coke or me" and if he chose coke than thats his choice n he will miss out!! just the same as what you should be doin with your wife!!

I no its hard as coke is on the scean so much more now but u just gotta try and tell her that what she is doin is not good for your sake and your son's sake!!!

I hope i have helped you out a bit gud look and let us no how u get on

xxxxxxxxxxx

[cazzz1975]

if it doesnt give you a buzz, why take it? is it worth wrecking your nose/health for something that doesnt do anything for you?

save a few quid n all