General

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A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Iraq Crisis. Upon returning to England, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't technically at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given 2 pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"
Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to my toes, sir!"
General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"
Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"
General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"
Soldier 3: "The tip of me d1ck to me balls, sir!"
General: "That's a strange request, but drop your trousers, son!
As the general begins the measurement: "My god, son, where are your balls?"
Soldier 3: "Basra, sir!"

[excelsior]

ouch!!!

[squarebear]

*arf* *arf* I like it.