Swineherd

Avatar | 14:17 Thu 08th Nov 2007 | Jokes

4 Answers

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and he calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing, and will instead lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them all in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing around. One more try, he tells himself. And proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day sh4gging the pigs, and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself to look out the window. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are lying in the mud.
"No", she says "they're all in the truck, and one of them is honking the horn".