This is only for men, don't look if you a female

[4GS]

why do most men die before their wives?

cos they want to...


whats the difference between a woman with PMT and a Rottweiler?

lipstick...


Why haven't there been any women astronauts on the moon?

it doesn't need sweeping yet....


whats 6" long 3" wide and makes women squeal with pleasure?

a �20 note....


How can you tell when your wife has died?

the sex is the same but the washing piles up....


How can you tell when your wife has had an orgasm?

who cares?.....

[logic]

4gs you'll get some stick for that.

[redcrx]

Hi John,

heres a stick :)

[squarebear]

Why do brides wear white?

So they match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

[redcrx]

http://www.buriedinthenoise.com/imgs/stick11.j pg

(forgot the link)

[redcrx]

whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife....................................?


about 3 stone

[4GS]

Difference between your wife and your job?


After a year the job still sucks

[redcrx]

pmsl.

Im letting the side down here, but am giggling :)

[Pippa68]

I don't get that last one, john.

[logic]

duh

[blondie123]

Here's some for the girls....


Q-WHY DID GOD MAKE ADAM BEFORE EVE?
A- COS HE MADE A ROUGH DRAFT BEFORE HE MADE A FINAL COPY

Q-WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
A-COS THEY ARE PLUGGED INTO A GENIUS

Q- WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
A- COS THEY DONT STOP TO ASK DIRECTIONS

Q-WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON THE EARTH?
A-COS A VIBRATOR CANT MOW THE LAWN

Q-WHY DO LITTLE BOYS WINE?
A-THEY ARE PRACTISING TO BECOME MEN

Q-HOW DO YOU STOP YOUR MAN READING YOUR EMAIL?
A-RENAME IT INSTRUCTION MANUAL



One day my housework-challenged boyfriend decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the kitchen, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Durham .'

And they say blondes are dumb...

[Louisa 69]

How can you tell if your husband is dead ?
sex is the same......but you get the remote.

Why is urine yellow and sperm white ?
so men can tell if they're coming or going

What is the difference between men and women ?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need......
A man wants every woman to satisfy his ONE need. :))

[logic]

.Blondie, Im going to have to report that cos it's sexually discriminating.

[.steg.]

how do you make a snow plough out of a washing machine?
.
.
.
give the bitch a shovel

[logic]

steg that's much better, lol

[shylock73]

I don`t know if ypu`re replying to my request for jokes on this page, but thanks, I`ve been laughing my socks off...."Carry on team...you are doing very well" Let`s have a good laugh in this miserable unhappy world.

[frankleigh]

I played golf today, and when I got home I hit the wife in the face. She asked why I did that and I told her - "I've hit everything fat today"!

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his a**e.

What have women and condoms got in common?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on the end of your ****.

What's the difference between PMT & BSE?
One's mad cow's disease & the other's an agricultural problem.

[.steg.]

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."