Fathers at the birth of their child.

[sandrajo]

Theres a survey going on GMTV this morning about the position a father plays on the birth of their child. They're asking: How much involvement do you think fathers should have in the birth of a child? Do you think new fathers should be able to stay overnight in the maternity ward or do you think new mums need some quiet time to bond with their babies?

Would you want the father of your child there or would you much rather your mother or friend?

[redcrx]

ive just written a reply on thread in pregnancy, My fella was great and will be with me for this birth too!

As for staying in the hospital, if i was then id like him there. But last time i went home same day and loved being at home in a comfy bed. Mr CRX got up with baby in the morning, changed first awful bum, bathed him and settled him and only woke me when midwife arrived.

Hes worth his weight in gold.

[lil123]

I would want my partner there at the birth but after I would like the time to just be with my baby on my own.
When I had my son 2 years ago his dad just made things 100 times worse as the birth was very difficult and my son stopped breathing. Needless to say he is now my ex husband for a lot of other reasons 2 so at that birth I would have preferred to be on my own at the birth.
I think it all comes down to individual choice xx

[sandrajo]

sorry redcrx I never noticed the other thread!

[redcrx]

dont worry sandrajo. I wasnt complaining, i just couldnt type my reply again. Im being lazy just like my baby seems to be.

Im hoping i can add another birth / dad experience very soon lol

[sandrajo]

lol redcrx : )

It is a very interesting subject tho...some men are terrified to be there.

[redcrx]

youre right, and in that instance they shouldnt be made to participate as Im sure it would affect the birth.

[Octavius]

As it turns out my wife after a Csec only stayed in one night, but she wished that I could have stayed for that night. The birth was very early morning � for which I was present - so by evening she was being encouraged to get up and about and have a bath.

During the night the baby was a right little tinker and my wife didn�t get any sleep. Because they were relatively short staffed, she more-or-less had to deal with it by herself as they had a rake of births and a host of crying babies to deal with. Needless to say, when she got home I made sure she had plenty of rest in the first couple of days to recover whilst I did the necessary, and then when she had more energy she was able to bond fully with our daughter over the following weeks.

So yes, I would have stayed if I could. Fathers do get a bit of a rare deal actually.

I know it really is about mother and baby, but we are pretty much left out of any conversations/decisions, disregarded in respect of the baby, and we sit by our partner�s bedside for hours and hours regardless and don�t even get offered a cup of tea when the trolley comes round!

[sandrajo]

That's such a shame Octavius that you weren't allowed to stay, it's a parent bond not just a mother bond and the hospitals should look at it that way. Why shouldn't the father be allowed to stay and help with their new born baby, it would make more sense to me!
My hubby was kept totally involved with any
conversations/decisions, regarding the baby and they even offered him a cup of tea when the trolley came round even tho he would of rather it was a pint of lager!

[Velvetee]

Gordon Ramsay refused to be at the births of all his children, claiming seeing all the mess would put him off his wife sexually and he felt as a very sexual person, this would be an unfair ordeal to go through!!

[Bohne]

My husband and father of our child was at the birth, together with the midwife.
Nobody else!

My best friend wanted to be there, and I told her NO WAY!!!
This is such an intimate moment I could not share this moment with anybody else!
Or do you invite your friends or mothers to come to the toilet with you?

I did not need quiet time at all.
I had our baby in my arms for maybe an hour, then we decided to have breakfast and I gave him to my husband to dress.
At that time I felt already bad, that he had not held him, yet.

I never got him back for the next few hours, my husband would not let him out of his hands... :o)
Which was good.

I think it is far more important for fathers to bond with their children than for the mothers.

[sandrajo]

Hi Bohne: this is exactly how I feel, the mother has carried the child for 9 months and has the bond there already, when the child is born it's bonding time with the father that's needed. : )

[redcrx]

surely its a time for the FAMILY unit to bond? Not just mum or just dad?

and its personal choice who you'd like to have at the birth, but limit the numbers to one birthing partner. Just because a friend or relative asks to be there does not mean diddly squat, its the mothers decision. She should choose the option she is most comfortable with.

[4GS]

I was there when my sprogs have been born, I wouldn't have missed it for the world, it was like my birthday, christmas, new year, easter, fireworks night and winning the lottery all rolled into one. If I'd been able to stay overnight for the youngest I would have. Seeing them enter the world is the bestest feeling ever, and I would recommend it to anyone

[josie48]

My 2nd and present husband delivered our daughter then fainted! That was 25 years ago and we still laugh over it.

[Lonnie]

Afraid i'm going to differ from the majority here, I was at the birth of my daughter, and unless the woman specifically wants her partner there, I don't think its the place for a man, unless of course, he's a bit of a Sadist.

[helliebobs]

I split up with my husband when I was pregnant and we discussed him being at the birth. I wanted him to be there and he said it was up to me. He didn't think he'd be much help and he was right. In the end we decided he would be there but I would also have my mum there too. I ended up having an emergency c-section and it was my mum who came into theatre with me, not him. I was so glad it was her there and not him as he would've been neither use nor ornament. When I came out of recovery with our son and he met him for the first time he didn't even crack a smile, so I know I had the best person with me at the time, couldn't have done it without her.
If we had still been together as a couple I would've definitely wanted him in there.